Heckler & Koch and "mall ninjas"

[FireBirdDS]

I know little about H&K and only vaguely familiar with the whole "mall ninja" thing. What exactly is a "mall ninja" and why is H&K frequently mentioned when they're talked about?

 

[Kirk Freeman]

Mall ninja=Internet gag started by a clerk at a well-known gun store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Now we would call it a "troll" thread on a popular board for a particular brand of handgun.

The clerk in question reached a breaking point over all the manure being spread in his gun shop (I wuz a SEEL Sniper Ranger in the Viet Nam, twicet my platoon was wiped out and every single one of them had a cleaning rod in his M16, ad naseum) over guns so to vent he created the "mall ninja".

Urban Dictionary: mall ninja

Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

Heckler and Koch has a reputation of being wanted by those who know very little of firearms and, concurrently, having wicked suck customer service and attitude regarding private citizens possessing firearms.

Heckler & Koch is the drop dead gorgeous 22 year old woman, mall ninjas are the enthralled 13 year old you cannot have her but are beside themselves with her.

 

[searpinski]

I'm not saying it was mall ninjas, but it was mall ninjas.

 

[JWAS]

Heckler & Koch is the drop dead gorgeous 22 year old woman, mall ninjas are the enthralled 13 year old you cannot have her but are beside themselves with her.



Love this.

 

[Kirk Freeman]

That's actually Kirk ripping off PJ O'Rourke.

 

[littletommy]

Here is one of the best mall ninja stories ever, I'm thinking H and K is mentioned somewhere in there.
Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

 

[ModernGunner]

See? That's WHY I come to INGO, to learn!

I always thought a 'mall ninja' was some guy or gal showing up at their local mall, 'prepped for battle' ~ wearing camouflage or black military-style BDU's, thigh holster or something similar, intending to present the appearance of a combat (not just military) veteran.

I've actually seen more than one guy wearing a 'Vietnam Vet' ballcap that, due to their OBVIOUS age, could not possibly have served in Viet Nam. Since I have close friends that actually have served in Viet Nam, I find it despicable.

 

[DeadeyeChrista'sdad]

That's actually Kirk ripping off PJ O'Rourke.

Uh Oh. Kirk has begun to refer to himself in the third person.

At least he doesn't refer to himself in the plural yet.

Yet.

On a semi related note, I used to be INGO's Official Mall Ninja. Due to classified orders from a certain Simon Mall Corp. director of security who must remain anonymous, I am now working in another undercover capacity. And you did not read this.

 

[TAT7]

To the OP

While H&K is not known for their customer service and reputation along the "mall ninja" folk...H&K's firearms are one of the most well built guns in the market IMO...I daily carry a moded P30 and my store gun is a H&K45 (for those that know me, they know I'm not "easy" on my guns)...Wont find many people arguing their reliablity like people might do with Glock, Smith, Ruger, etc...

 

[Kirk Freeman]

Uh Oh. Kirk has begun to refer to himself in the third person.

I'll tell you what Bob Dole likes, Bob Doles likes ripping off PJ O'Rourke.

 

[SmokinSigs357]

Oh boy...just bought a H&K 45 yesterday. I'm doomed...

 

[indiucky]

That's actually Kirk ripping off PJ O'Rourke.

If you're gonna steal then steal from the best...

 

[Pinchaser]

To the OP

While H&K is not known for their customer service and reputation along the "mall ninja" folk...H&K's firearms are one of the most well built guns in the market IMO...I daily carry a moded P30 and my store gun is a H&K45 (for those that know me, they know I'm not "easy" on my guns)...Wont find many people arguing their reliablity like people might do with Glock, Smith, Ruger, etc...

Agreed. One would be foolish to argue against H&K being the best production handgun made in the world today. Most can't afford them and that is always a necessary ingredient for bashing something of quality but, for those who do have them, they stand alone. There was a day when Sig was held in such esteem as well but those days are gone.

 

[sharkey]

Uh Oh. Kirk has begun to refer to himself in the third person.

At least we're not required to address him as El Conquistador.

 

[223 Gunner]

Thanks Kirk, and littletommy. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

Reading "Shrine to the mall ninja" is a must, if you have the time.

 

[searpinski]

At least we're not required to address him as El Conquistador.

I laughed so hard the first time I heard that skit.

 

[seldon14]

Agreed. One would be foolish to argue against H&K being the best production handgun made in the world today. Most can't afford them and that is always a necessary ingredient for bashing something of quality but, for those who do have them, they stand alone. There was a day when Sig was held in such esteem as well but those days are gone.

Not really. Sig, Glock, Smith, and FNH all offer guns that are arguably as good or better.

 

[searpinski]

Thanks Kirk, and littletommy. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

Reading "Shrine to the mall ninja" is a must, if you have the time.

Gecko45 deserves ultimate troll status. His responses are pretty funny too.

 

[PX4me]

Here is one of the best mall ninja stories ever, I'm thinking H and K is mentioned somewhere in there.
Shrine of the Mall Ninja » LonelyMachines

I had no idea we were in that much danger walking around a mall.

I don't claim to know much about the world of firearms at this point but good lord, that is some serious fantasy world stuff going on right there. Wow.

 

[AD Marc]

Don't want to irritate the fanboys, but I was just discussing the other day how every time I shoot an h&k it reminds me why I like precisely zero of their guns. I spent a good bit of last Sunday trying to help a border patrol agent qualify on this dismal p2000. It was way big for his small hands and the LEM trigger seems designed to make people slap the trigger. Very hard gun to master and I can't see the benefit of doing so if you had an alternate choice.