Parents have been wrong for thousands of years; Do not sleep next to your infant

[rambone]

"Do not sleep next to your infant." So say the experts at the American Academy of Pediatrics. Forget about the bonding and the emotional connection achieved from physical contact with your newborn.

So, you decide. Have most of the parents in the course of history been doing it wrong? Should newborn infants sleep alone in a dark crib in their own room?


Some parents at odds with experts about sharing beds with infants

 

[Gabriel]

My daughter has slept in our bed since she was born. She's just over one year old now.

 

[EnochRoot43]

Kids do die every year from this....but kids die from all manner of freak accidents. I think that the danger could be compounded if a parent is known to toss and turn in the night in a fashion that could lead to them ending up on top of the child. My son never really took to the crib, though. He turned 2 a little less than 2 months ago. He has a toddler bed now, and sleeps in it sometimes, especially for naps....but at night time he often sleeps between us. He likes it, we like it, everyone feels safe and secure. Works for our family, YMMV.

 

[snowman46919]

They both sleep in their own room but I think that has a lot to do with not being able to fit me my wife our five year old who is almost as big as his mom and our 2 year old. I toss and turn all night long except when the boys are in here, often find myself curled around them when i wake up in a defensive position back to the door. I think its just natural instinct in most people. I am by no means saying anyone that doesnt have their kids sleep with them are bad parents or those that have woke up on top of their children are bad parents thats just an accident.

 

[cburnworth]

I have no problems with the children in the bed, however I think they should not be sleeping in the bed when they are older. my 3 year old will sleep in her bed by herself some nights just fine, other nights she comes in around 3 or 4 am. MY 8 yr old seems to come in about the time he is supposed to wake up for school.

 

[Expat]

This must be old information. A Columbia University Professor recommends sleeping with your daughter when she is still 24....

 

[grimor]

Well, kids die when the parent(s) roll on them in their sleep. I guess if you want to risk it, that's up to you. I wonder how the loving parents felt when they woke up on top of their dead baby. Bet that was a great bonding experience for them..

 

[christman]

All 4 of ours slept in their own rooms. I don't really see the point of two walrus's smothering their kids because they are worried about them crying by themselves.

 

[Cpt Caveman]

Yeah um , you need to train the kid to stay in his/ her bed and put themselves back to sleep when they wake up. Our boys were sleeping by themselves through the night by the time they were 8 or 10 months old. IN THEIR OWN BED!Never let them sleep with us. The youngest while he was breast feeding slept in a basket next to the bed so mama could get to him easily but other than that they slept in their own beds.
I know folks that let their young-uns come in their room when they were little and now they do it at 10 and 12 years old.
Sorry, my bedroom is adults only unless they are invited in to watch tv or read with us.

 

[Knife Lady]

I used to take naps on the couch with my little one but that was all. I also had his crib in our bedroom with us but he slept in it because even back then over 30 yrs ago they knew it was dangerous for the child. I couldnt roll around on the couch so I felt really confident that my son was in good hands or arms in this case. I am glad I made that decision and there are so many other ways to bond with your child. I was told back then that is teaches them to be more independant and gives them a sense of confidence. I was lucky that my son was never afraid of the dark.

 

[04DarkShadowGT]

All I am going to add to this debate is that people are a whole lot smarter and wiser to medical issues now than they have been the past 1000 years.

Same thing with Rambone harping on vaccines, do whatever you think is right for your kid but you know going in there are risks. Just have to decide if its worth it.

 

[RoyalTenenbaum]

Sleeping with your baby kills your baby. Babies sleeping alone die. Feed your baby they die, don't feed your baby they die. Use the bouncy chair they die, don't use the bouncy chair they die. Statistically no matter what, babies will always die. No one argues that each is a most horrific tragedy. However, no amount of advice from experts can overshadow the parents being watchful, diligent, and careful. That being said, accidents and fate will still take their toll.

 

[redneckmedic]

Rambone, you are now getting to the point of dangerous with your little advice column. Adults sleeping next to newborns is deadly. Period. No level of liberal warm and fuzzy hope this doesn't put my child in therapy because they are alone, even though they don't have the psyche for self realization yet will every make it safer. Maybe next time I go on a run when a mother smothers her child to death because she fell asleep while breast feeding in the upright position, I will send you her number. Or the dad that takes a nap for only a moment with his infant and only drapes his arm over the kid, is now screwed up for life. You might want to try to live in a world of risk vs benefit.

 

[singlestacksig]

for a 1000 years civilization has known of this risk. it is why we developed cribs & other beds for infants..
almost every society has infant beds & "old wives tales" about not sleeping with a baby..

 

[RichardR]

It should be against the law, for the child's safety of course.

 

[ATOMonkey]

There is written history documenting babies sleeping in cribs by themselves over 2000 years old. I'd have to think the practice supercedes the writing.

Obviously, this is nothing new, and rather common sense, that's it's not a good idea to smother your infant child.

 

[steveh_131]

Rambone, you are now getting to the point of dangerous with your little advice column. Adults sleeping next to newborns is deadly. Period. No level of liberal warm and fuzzy hope this doesn't put my child in therapy because they are alone, even though they don't have the psyche for self realization yet will every make it safer. Maybe next time I go on a run when a mother smothers her child to death because she fell asleep while breast feeding in the upright position, I will send you her number. Or the dad that takes a nap for only a moment with his infant and only drapes his arm over the kid, is now screwed up for life. You might want to try to live in a world of risk vs benefit.

Kids also die mysteriously alone in their cribs. Maybe they weren't designed to spend so much time alone at such a young age.

There's really no way to prove this one way or another. I, for one, am glad to hear both sides of the debate so that I can make an informed choice for myself.

The all-knowing medical community has been pushing horrible methods for child-rearing for decades. Natural births are almost unheard of, breast feeding is sacrificed for convenience. The most popular formula brands are composed of more than HALF corn-syrup.

Personally, I'd say you can do the exact opposite of what the mainstream does and come out way ahead.

 

[steveh_131]

All I am going to add to this debate is that people are a whole lot smarter and wiser to medical issues now than they have been the past 1000 years. .

I only agree that this is true when it comes to trauma care and actual disease treatment.

When it comes to child-bearing, the medical community is all about convenience. Not what's best for the child.

 

[rambone]

This article's advice was news to me, and I thought I would keep you guys abreast of what the experts are saying. I expect that there are people of both opinions here. I posted this because I read it in another forum and saw all of these mothers sharing their stories about how their doctors have actually yelled at them for following their maternal instincts. That bothers me.

I think if you use your head, this shouldn't be a problem. I read a mother's advice that says she keeps a her newborn in a little flat cradle on top of the covers, resting between her and her husband. That sounds like a great method of keeping your baby close to you during the formative years of personality development.

If you know that you are a deep-sleeper or do a lot of tossing and turning, then you can recognize this, and then act accordingly by not sleeping next to your baby. Obviously don't bury the baby in a sea of blankets or something ridiculous. But a responsible parent should be able to figure this out. If the experts only issue advice to cater to the lowest common denominator, then why should I follow it?

Maybe next time I go on a run when a mother smothers her child to death because she fell asleep while breast feeding in the upright position,

In fairness, I don't think think the upset parents in the article were advocating sleeping during breastfeeding.

 

[redneckmedic]

Kids also die mysteriously alone in their cribs. Maybe they weren't designed to spend so much time alone at such a young age.
Ah yes SIDS. SIDS is idiopathic, and has nothing to do with the price of eggs.

There's really no way to prove this one way or another.
YES There is!!!!! Those children who have died with their parent sleeping on them wouldn't have asphyxiated if their parents didn't sleep on top of them DUH!

That is the worst argument I have read in this OP yet.

In fairness, I don't think think the upset parents in the article were advocating sleeping during breastfeeding.

Agreed, my point was that the parent was upright and not even laying on the child. It is primative for a child to unlatch to take a breath if need be. They un latch to cough. So my point was if this practice is lower risk and still causes death, sleeping next to a child is absolutely insane.