jblomenberg16
Grandmaster
Here's a new spin on an old Cliche, partially inspired by some of the recent religious and political threads. I haven't seen these comments posted before or on a chain e-mail, but I'm sure I'm not the first to come up with it, and there are probably some similar comments out there.
I've been up late studying tonight, so perhaps my brain is just fried... Feel free to have some fun and add to it!
What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?
The Religious Arguement:
Judeo-Christian/Creationist - God created all living creatures, so the Chicken came first, along with a mate of the opposite sex, and then it reproduced and hence we get the egg. We trust this to be true, based on the Biblical description of creation in Genisis, and Noah and the Ark.
Evolutionist - Niether...the chicken formed as the result of millions of years of natural selection, starting with ameobas, then swamp fish with legs, then dinosaurs, then birds, and eventually chickens. They naturally lay eggs because that's what their evolutionary ancestors did. But, in a technicallity, the egg came first because it was a unique genetic off spring of two prehistoric cave chickens that lead to the modern day chicken we know of.
Aetheist - Chickens don't exist. Belief that they do is foolish. Which came first is a moot point.
Reincarnationists - Be nice to that chicken, he could be uncle Ted! The egg did come first, as Uncle tead hard boiling one for breakfast then led to the reincarnation of him as a chicken. But don't choke the chicken, because if you do, you might return as one in your next life.
The Political Arguement:
The Republican view - The chicken worked hard to go through college, getting a degree, and along the way, met a nice female chicken. They produced a few eggs, which now run the family business and have a few more eggs of thier own. The patriarch chicken is now relaxing in a luxurious 10,000 square foot chicken coop. Which came first? It doesn't matter, the chicken earned his way to the top. Never mind he had the right last name - McDonald...
The Democrat view - It was a poor, neglected egg that with the help of some government programs, was able to rise up and overcome adversity to become a chicken, and produced thousands of other eggs, excluding those that were aborted along the way. These eggs were nurtured in public housing (aka...the coop) and also have dreams of one day leaving the coop for the chance to sit on the farmer's fence and proudly call "**** a doodle doo!" for all the other chickens to envy. And by the way, why does it always have to be about brown and white eggs?
The Libertarian view - We don't need these exotic breeds from Europe, Latin America, and others coming onto our turf. We like our chickens pure bread, with nice, big succulant breasts....and wings and legs that we can deep fry after we've successfully hunted them with our semi otto rifles. The American Chicken came first, and produced a fine breed of eggs that the rest of the Chicken world should try to live up too.
The Communist view - Egg come first. 2 each per day, per house-hold. If we find you with a Chicken, we cut off your hands, take your chicken, and give its eggs to your neighbor.
I've been up late studying tonight, so perhaps my brain is just fried... Feel free to have some fun and add to it!
What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?
The Religious Arguement:
Judeo-Christian/Creationist - God created all living creatures, so the Chicken came first, along with a mate of the opposite sex, and then it reproduced and hence we get the egg. We trust this to be true, based on the Biblical description of creation in Genisis, and Noah and the Ark.
Evolutionist - Niether...the chicken formed as the result of millions of years of natural selection, starting with ameobas, then swamp fish with legs, then dinosaurs, then birds, and eventually chickens. They naturally lay eggs because that's what their evolutionary ancestors did. But, in a technicallity, the egg came first because it was a unique genetic off spring of two prehistoric cave chickens that lead to the modern day chicken we know of.
Aetheist - Chickens don't exist. Belief that they do is foolish. Which came first is a moot point.
Reincarnationists - Be nice to that chicken, he could be uncle Ted! The egg did come first, as Uncle tead hard boiling one for breakfast then led to the reincarnation of him as a chicken. But don't choke the chicken, because if you do, you might return as one in your next life.
The Political Arguement:
The Republican view - The chicken worked hard to go through college, getting a degree, and along the way, met a nice female chicken. They produced a few eggs, which now run the family business and have a few more eggs of thier own. The patriarch chicken is now relaxing in a luxurious 10,000 square foot chicken coop. Which came first? It doesn't matter, the chicken earned his way to the top. Never mind he had the right last name - McDonald...
The Democrat view - It was a poor, neglected egg that with the help of some government programs, was able to rise up and overcome adversity to become a chicken, and produced thousands of other eggs, excluding those that were aborted along the way. These eggs were nurtured in public housing (aka...the coop) and also have dreams of one day leaving the coop for the chance to sit on the farmer's fence and proudly call "**** a doodle doo!" for all the other chickens to envy. And by the way, why does it always have to be about brown and white eggs?
The Libertarian view - We don't need these exotic breeds from Europe, Latin America, and others coming onto our turf. We like our chickens pure bread, with nice, big succulant breasts....and wings and legs that we can deep fry after we've successfully hunted them with our semi otto rifles. The American Chicken came first, and produced a fine breed of eggs that the rest of the Chicken world should try to live up too.
The Communist view - Egg come first. 2 each per day, per house-hold. If we find you with a Chicken, we cut off your hands, take your chicken, and give its eggs to your neighbor.
