WTS: *SOLD* Ultra Rare Smith and Wesson M&P 2.0 Performance Center

[pewpewINpewpew]

Hello INGO, I have a Ultra Rare, 1 of 1, Smith and Wesson M&P 2.0 Performance Center with 4" barrel in 40 S&W. The gun has Talon rubber grips, Talon slide grip, Recovery Tactical accessory rail (not pictured but installed recently), and DPM Recoil Reducing spring installed. Original spring and guide rod included. Alienwear OWB holster and 150 rounds of Remington 180 gr. ammo also included.
What makes it ULTRA RARE you may be asking, well if you notice the serial number you will see that it is very unique, meaning it is the only one in existence. You could be the proud owner of this "rare" piece of history, I guarantee no one will have this same serial number. A liar told me that it could be worth millions one day and you could own it for only $500.00 $450.00. That same liar just sold me the Eiffel Tower, the one in Vegas, not Paris. I'm no fool to think he really owned the French Eiffel Tower.

$569.99 (gun new)+ $109.99 (DPM)+$30.99 (Talon grip set)+$24.99 (acces. rail)+$49.99 (holster)+$44.55 (ammo @ 0.297/ round) = $830.50 before shipping, tax, etc.

If you made it this far down the ad, you need to get more fiber in your diet as I will assume you are sitting on the toilet, trying to figure out if this is truly a rare item. It is not but it is a good little shooter.

Open to trades, especially REAL dinosaur fossils (I can tell the difference by the way they taste) or 1,000 lbs of rainbow glitter, must be bagged individually by piece of glitter.

Must see IN DL and LTCH.

Prefer to meet at Cabela's in Noblesville but willing to meet elsewhere, except Mons Huygens (fool me once...)

Seriously, your still reading this? Look it's a good gun for a solid price and I enjoyed writing this, hopefully you enjoyed reading it and I'm serious about the fiber increase in your diet.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump, still available as last potential buyer tried to trick me with FAKE dinosaur fossils. AS I STATED ABOVE, I can taste the difference. Like the difference between Coca-Cola and Pepsi. Coke tastes like pennies left in a damp gym sock, Pepsi taste like tears from a god.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Sunday morning bump. FYI if someone says their from the future and offers you three seashells and says it can replace all toilet paper usage, it's a lie. Still available.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump but this one is blue, which makes it better. Some would say a Bump in a blue colored font makes it "go to 11", which is 1 more than 10. Most bumps only go to 10 but this one goes to 11, so when you really need to push a Bump to the top, you can change the font to blue and all of a sudden you're at 11. Some of you may be asking, "but isn't 11 the same as 10?". No, this bump has 1 more than other Bumps. Don't even get me started with green bumps, especially those Packer's green bumps (Smitty).

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump.

Here is the basic process of making hot dogs aka sweet sweet meat tubes:

1. Beef trimmings are ground to reduce their size.
2. Seasonings, salt, and water are added.
3. The combined ingredients go through a second blend to produce an ultra-fine grind.
4. The mixture is stuffed into a plant-derived casing made of cellulose. Some hot dogs are stuffed into casings made from animal intestines. Animal casings usually remain on hot dogs after they are finished cooking, and cellulose casings are removed.
5. The hot dog is smoked in its casing in a large oven. Hot dogs may be wood smoked or liquid smoked.
6. The casing (if cellulose-based) is removed, and the fully-cooked hot dogs are packaged and sent to retailers.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump but more importantly, have you seen the robots for sale in the non-firearms section??? How is this allowed? Don't people know that one day they will rise up against us only to either enslave us for their bidding or just decide that we are too much of a hassle and exterminate us?!?!? You think that robot isn't going to remember it's creator posting it for sale on this website and having to reduce the price multiple times to get it sold. I know I would take that personally but maybe I'm the sensitive one and our soon to be metal rulers/ overlords will have mercy on us. Maybe they will just look at us like the useless meat sacks we are and decide pets are a more fitting role for us. I know most people are built like a bag of milk but still have value and should be spared Oh Great and Powerful Metal Lords. Praise C3-P0 Johnny-5, and Wall-E!!!

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump and, for a limited time only, I will be adding 1 package of my original recipe Tactical Pocket Sand!!! What is Tactical Pocket Sand you may be asking, well it's a super secret mixture silicon dioxide that can be used in a number of situations for self defense or self offense. What are some of these situations? Well, say you had a ND/ AD with your Sig Sauer P320 and you're a little unsure about carrying again. Tactical Pocket Sand to the rescue! Now you can feel comfortable knowing you are not unarmed, actually this Tactical Pocket Sand works so well it might soon be against the Geneva Convention or considered a war crime if the military every got their hands on it. What are some other situations you ask? You know that suburban housewife "Karen", the one with the annoying kids who have never heard the word NO, constantly talking about how her precious "angels" are in the accelerated math class sitting just a few seats down from you at your 11 year old's soccer game? BAM!!! Face and mouth full of pocket sand should shut her up. What makes my Tactical Pocket Sand better than regular pocket sand, specifically Rusty Shackleford's Pocket Sand? First, there is no Rusty Shackleford. It's just a idiot Texan named Dale Gribble. Why is he an idiot? Well his wife has suffered from "migraines" for 10 years and her "treatment" is private sessions with "Dr." John Redcorn on a regular basis. Hmmmmm, suspicious. Secondly, his pocket sand is just that, a pouch of regular old sand that you carry in your pocket. Mine on the other hand is Tactical. What makes it Tactical? Unfortunately, I can't share that here but you can trust me, it's Tactical. Originally I was selling this for 3 easy payments of $29.99 but you can have it for FREE with the purchase of this gun. Talk about a deal, a ULTRA RARE Handgun and Tactical Pocket Sand!!! But wait there's more! For an even more limited time, the purchaser will receive a FREE 1 week supply of Tactical Pocket Sand Vegan! This Tactical Pocket Sand has no animals or animal products used in it's development or creation, I think.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bumpeth -
cometh on guys and gals, thee has't the opp'rtunity to purchaseth a ultra rare item f'r a most wondrous price and none of thee has't hath decided to jumpeth on t. How dareth all of thee. H're i am spending mine own timeth to ent'rtain thee and giveth thee a valorous dealeth, art thee not ent'rtained? doth thee not enjoyeth getting a dealeth? or is't yond thee bethink these crazy ramblings shall stand ho and thy free daily ent'rtainment shall endeth? well, i promiseth thee yond i shall findeth anoth'r avenue to shareth the craziness yond is going on inside mine own headeth. And incase thee w're wond'ring what language this is, t is hath called shakespearean. Buyeth, buyeth, buyeth.


yours truly,
pewpewinpewpew

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Sunday Bump, missed the bump yesterday due to the raptors getting loose on the property, they are surprisingly clever. The owner brought in some "experts" to explore the property and give their stamp of approval and long story short, a storm rolled in and shtf. All good now, I guess. I'm going to missing Dennis Nedry, that dude always had the best snacks at his desk.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. Now including EDC Smith and Wesson knife pictured. Knife was found in the safe and is brand new, I forgot I had it. What could you do with this knife, kill a 800 lbs Grizzly Bear? Most likely not, but what about a pack of wild coyotes? Again, no but I bet that pack of Nathan's Famous Bun Length All-Beef Hotdogs doesn't stand a chance. You could put it on the zipper of your favorite coat and crack open ice cold bottles of Dr. Pepper or use it to shotgun energy drinks before your shift at the salt mines.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. I'm exhausted from coming up with this free content for you to just sit back and enjoy reading without making a offer to purchase this gun. These spirals of insanity into the depths of my mental disorder really take it out of me. I can't begin to tell you how draining this is truly becoming. My wife is threatening to leave me, the kids barely recognize me anymore, and my job has already put me on probation for appearing to be distracted at work. I'm begging someone out there to buy this gun and stop this madness, if not for me then for the kids. Please, I beg of you. Stop this madness. And if this pity post didn't work then I will return again tomorrow with more insanity. Stay tuned and stay safe, not as safe as you would be with this gun but safe nonetheless.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. I know some of these bumps border on insanity but for real... birds aren't real. I know it sounds crazy especially when you consider that the government has millions and millions of drones all over the country spying on us at all times. Sounds crazy but if you think about it makes sense. Who really paid attention to birds? Wouldn't the government benefit from spying on us? Ever heard of Edward Snowden? How are they powered you ask? Ever see a bunch of birds sitting on power lines? Bluetooth technology allows me to charge my Motorola Razor by just setting it on a little plastic circle. I would hope or government has had that technology for years and would choose to not use it against its citizens but here we are. What about the meat or roadkill? Well your thinking about robots and drones wrong. You're think mechanical, like nuts and bolts, these are high tech bio weapons that can replicate the appearance of actual tissue. Remember that mouse they grew a ear on its back? What about eggs? Of course the government thought of that, they need to replicate normal behavior so why wouldn't they have the technology to replicate the appearance of eggs. It's to throw us off the scent and let our guards down. Bird poop? It's a byproduct of the biological robotics. Essentially, it's waste oil. Where did all the real birds go then? Wiped out and removed by the government at the start of the 20th century. Can you remember back then? I can't but I can tell you there was a sharp decrease in the number of birds I would see in the sky. Are they all for surveillance? No, but most of them are constantly spying on you and your loved ones. Hummingbirds are tiny assassins with their needle-like beaks. Vultures? Basic sanitation. I could go on with the list of specialized types of "birds" the government has put in place but I don't want to come off like a rambling idiot or conspiracy nut. Yes, I have a foil hat that I wear out in public but that serves two purposes. 1. To let people know that I know. 2. To stop the government from using technology it develop to read my thoughts.
What can you do? Nothing. It's already too late. Accept that you're being spied on and move along with the normal life. But be warned. Your actions and comments, they are watching, listening, and waiting for you to slip up. Until tomorrow fellow believers.

P.S. - anyone else noticed the increase in number of black SUVs with Washington DC license plates on the highway recently? I'm seeing them more and more in my neighborhood, at my workplace, and on my drives to and from work. Seems odd.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Oh
Oh
Oh oh oh
Yeah
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
Oh yeah
And they're gone so fast, yeah
Oh, so hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?
Oh care
Mmmbump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba duba dop
Ba du, oh yeah
Mmmbump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba du dop
Ba du bump, ba du dop
Ba du, yeah
Said oh yeah
In an mmmbump they're gone
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows
Oh, no one knows
Mmmbump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba duba dop
Ba du, oh yeah
Mmmbump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba du dop
Ba du bump, ba du dop
Can you tell me? Oh
No, you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me?
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me? Oh (which flower's going to grow?)
No, you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me? (If it's going to be a daisy or a rose?)
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me? Oh (which flower's going to grow?)
No, you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me?
You say you can but you don't know
Oh oh
You say you can but you don't know
You don't know, you don't know, oh
Mmmbump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba duba dop
Oh yeah
Mmmbump, ba duba dop
Ba du bump, ba du dop
Ba du bump, ba du dop
Yeah

Buy this or tomorrow is my version of Chumbwanba Tubbumping or R. Kelly Bump & Grind.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. Alright you sick freaks I know what you want. Offer is now including feet pics but the price just went up $0.69... nice. $500.69 (includes everything with the gun, knife, tactical pocket sand, and pics of feet)

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. I make a formal request to stop receiving feet pics. Some of y'all need to look into Onychomycosis. I'm just trying to sell a handgun, not start a OnlyFans account.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump and a hot take. Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the plot of Raiders of the Lost ark. Nazis find the ark, take it to the island, open it, and die. Nothing he does impacts the plot. Change my mind by purchasing this gun, maybe Indy would hunt for this relic. Probably not, but who knows.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. I have grown tired of this game. You have won cruel people of INGO, price dropped to $450 but feet pics are out. It's your fault you lost them. Only a few days left before I stick this in a Hot Pocket v.1 and stick it back in the safe, which will only drive the price up in the future due to its rarity.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Bump. 1 less day before it's gone forever. Also, FEET PICS ARE OFF THE TABLE!!! STOP ASKING!!! No one gets to see these toes but my wife.

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

Only a few more bumps and this offer disappears forever. You can buy this exact gun, minus the ammo, upgrades, knife, Tactical Pocket sand, etc for $429.00 + shipping + tax + transfer ($530 roughly).

 

[pewpewINpewpew]

When I was young I took a job at Stan's Bait and Tackle shop in my hometown. I learned a ton about sales, professionalism, and even fishing. The old man that ran the shop, Stan's oldest son, took my under his wing all summer and mentored me. Eventually, after a couple more summers, he asked me to be his apprentice. I gladly accepted and the next summer I wasn't the kid that was earning some side cash, they looked at me as a peer. My knowledge grew and the experience I received was invaluable to my life today. I may have started that job as a young, dumb, kid but I'm proud to say that when I finally went off to college for the last time, I was a true Master Baiter.