Only he who can remove the tape from the stone, is the successor of Bob Vila, and the rightful ruler of all (New) England!
That was from the guy walking around in a shiny hard hat, polo shirt, clean boots and no tools except his tape that is clipped on his pocket… well, was clipped on his pocket…
Had a guy do this in the drive through at a McDonald’s, yanked the door open on my ranger, looked at me and the girl with me and just stood there looking all confused for a minute. Turns out his buddy was a couple cars back in a black rangerI experienced the same in a McDonalds parking lot. I was sitting in my grey Mercury and a woman starts yanking my locked door handle, cussing and screaming that I had done bad things with my mother and that she was tired of my excrement. I leaned forward and she saw my face. Then she shrieked and backed up. I have a long grey beard and long hair. The man in the grey Buick next to me was laughing hysterically. He was clean shaven and shiny bald. She got in his car and started hitting him. All I could think was "good luck buddy" as they pulled out.
It's a short, tragic story from this past Saturday.
I was making pancakes for the kids and omelets for my wife and I when I forgot about the 8 strips of bacon I had going in the oven at 425*. I transformed them into pure carbon. I tried one strip. I finished it, but it was not "edible" in any traditional sense.
I wasted bacon.
My son did something similar with popcorn. He put it in the microwave and walked off. Not sure just how long he set it for, but it was far too long. I'm surprised it didn't catch on fire, it was a solid fused black brick. Everytime we used the microwave after that it smelled like burnt popcorn.Back when over the cooktop microwaves were a new fancy thing and our kitchen had just been remodeled I asked my younger brother how long I should reheat my garlic bread. His response was three minutes. Bread in the microwave, three minutes, off to do something else. Two and a half minutes later with black smoke rolling out of the microwave and smoke detector beeping I realized that I shouldn't have listened to him. That microwave was no longer new and had a permanent brown spot on the back wall.
The one he still has…???Back when over the cooktop microwaves were a new fancy thing and our kitchen had just been remodeled I asked my younger brother how long I should reheat my garlic bread. His response was three minutes. Bread in the microwave, three minutes, off to do something else. Two and a half minutes later with black smoke rolling out of the microwave and smoke detector beeping I realized that I shouldn't have listened to him. That microwave was no longer new and had a permanent brown spot on the back wall.
Fast forward a few years as we're getting ready for a family vacation I was tasked with backing the family van out of the way the night before we left. Brother is now screaming at me to stop and of course I now ignore him. A few seconds later and there was a nice crunching sound. I was certain there was nothing behind.... Oh ****! Dad's prized 1972 Chevy Malibu was behind the van....
When I was I living in off base apartments in Norfolk I would regularly go on runs around the apartments at night to stay in shape.This happened just a few days ago. My wife and I stopped at a Speedway gas station to get a couple of drinks. Now a little back story. About two weeks ago we traded in our fire engine red pick up truck for a new Chevrolet Blazer. When my wife came out of the store she walked right over to a red truck and opened the door and tried to hop right in. Imagine the surprise to the gentleman sitting in the red truck. My wife was embarassed to the point of asking me not to tell anyone that story. I told her that I would not tell ANYONE, I would tell EVERYONE.
This is why I can no longer eat popcorn. At work, people were constantly burning their microwave popcorn and stinking up the whole office, to the point where that smell just makes me nauseous. Bastards.My son did something similar with popcorn. He put it in the microwave and walked off. Not sure just how long he set it for, but it was far too long. I'm surprised it didn't catch on fire, it was a solid fused black brick. Everytime we used the microwave after that it smelled like burnt popcorn.
This was beyond just burnt popcorn. If regular burned popcorn is a stick of tnt, this was Hiroshima. He threw it out in the yard, and it no joke didn't break down at all in over 2 months of weather. We kept moving it as we mowed to see what would happen to it. Ended up just throwing it in the trash. He wanted to keep it but I wouldn't it let it back into the house, it still smelled. It was a solid block of carbon.This is why I can no longer eat popcorn. At work, people were constantly burning their microwave popcorn and stinking up the whole office, to the point where that smell just makes me nauseous. Bastards.
That be the one. The actual damage to the car was minimal, the trailer ball mount from the van made a nice dent in the bumper but the mental scaring was done.The one he still has…???
Did something similar while at college. After coming home from a party, I wanted some toast. There was always a metal shaker full of cinnamon sugar in the kitchen, and I covered it pretty heavily. After the first bite, I realized I had grabbed the shaker of seasoned salt.This one is related to food. Happened about 2 weeks ago.
Making French toast and bacon for dinner. I always sprinkle cinnamon on the toast after laying it on the griddle.
Get done cooking and everyone starts eating. We all look at each other like wtf, the French toast doesn't taste right. Apparently I grabbed the cumin instead of the cinnamon....
I put myself through college cooking in restaurants and country clubs. At one of them, for Sunday brunch (during which the kitchen staff is typically at least somewhat hungover) one of my tasks was to keep a warmer full of toasted English muffins.It's a short, tragic story from this past Saturday.
I was making pancakes for the kids and omelets for my wife and I when I forgot about the 8 strips of bacon I had going in the oven at 425*. I transformed them into pure carbon. I tried one strip. I finished it, but it was not "edible" in any traditional sense.
I wasted bacon.
I have seen and ogled it in person.That be the one. The actual damage to the car was minimal, the trailer ball mount from the van made a nice dent in the bumper but the mental scaring was done.
That wasn't the last incident either. Another time our friend was putting a basket ball away in the garage and in the process a garden hoe fell off the wall and onto the hood. We still can't figure out why it fell off the wall but I truly feared for my friends life that day.
All was taken care of though as the car eventually cycled out of daily duty and had all the injuries repaired. It now has a nice cushy life in the garage and occasionally goes out for a drive.
How hungry were you...???Did something similar while at college. After coming home from a party, I wanted some toast. There was always a metal shaker full of cinnamon sugar in the kitchen, and I covered it pretty heavily. After the first bite, I realized I had grabbed the shaker of seasoned salt.
Not enough to finish the original,but hungry enough to start over.How hungry were you...???
I carbonized some mac 'n cheese once.My son did something similar with popcorn. He put it in the microwave and walked off. Not sure just how long he set it for, but it was far too long. I'm surprised it didn't catch on fire, it was a solid fused black brick. Everytime we used the microwave after that it smelled like burnt popcorn.