Pun Jokes: Just for Fun

[chezuki]

A proud youngster runs all the home from school after participating in his first gym class, nearly bursting with the need to tell his dad the great news.

Son: Papa! Papa! Guess what! Guess what! I have the biggest ***** in the third grade!
Father: Well you should son, you're 21 years old!

pun
pən/
noun
noun: pun; plural noun: puns

1.
a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.
"the pigs were a squeal (if you'll forgive the pun)"
synonyms: play on words, wordplay, double entendre, innuendo, witticism, quip, bon mot More
""you can make your own antifreeze by stealing her blanket" is a pun guaranteed to get some groans"

verb
verb: pun; 3rd person present: puns; past tense: punned; past participle: punned; gerund or present participle: punning

1.
make a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word.
"his first puzzle punned on composers, with answers like “Handel with care” and “Haydn go seek”"

 

[Rhoadmar]

Cows With Guns - YouTube

Had to post this.

 

[LadyG]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


Unique up on him.


How do you catch a tame rabbit?


The tame way.

 

[Mark 1911]

That's not very punny.

You're right, it is totally inappropriate.

 

[red_zr24x4]

So three German Soldiers walk into a B.A.R.

 

[RobbyMaQ]

A pun is the lowest form of a joke.
But I love puns

 

[RobbyMaQ]

A rope walks into a bar, the bartender says "we don't serve ropes here, get out!"
The rope leaves, and immediately upon exiting, ties the top portion of himself into a knot, and frays the ends (so as to look like a head and hair).
The rope walks back into the bar, and again, asks the bartender for a beer.
The bartender says "Hey, didn't I just kick you out of here?"
The ropes replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

A hamburger walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender replies "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the waitress for her phone number while ordering his drink.
The waitress responds with "I am sorry, but I don't date customers"
The mushroom replies "Oh, i'm not a dull and ordinary customer... I'm a fungi!"

 

[cdscds]

Wayyy better than the funnies!!

 

[Mark 1911]

A traveling salesman was traveling on Christmas day, so he stopped into the only open restaurant he could find and ordered Eggs Benedict. As few minutes later, the waitress served the man his breakfast on a hubcap. The man asked the waitress why she put his breakfast on a hubcap. She replied, Oh there's no plate like chrome for the hollandais.

 

[Mark 1911]

Doctor Smith stopped at a local bar every night after work for a hazelnut daiquiri - a special drink the bartender created just for him. One day, the bartender ran out of hazelnut so he substituted hickory nuts instead. The doctor took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, 'This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!' 'No, I'm sorry', replied the bartender, 'it's a hickory daiquiri, doc.'

 

[Mark 1911]

pun
pən/
noun
noun: pun; plural noun: puns

1.
a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.
"the pigs were a squeal (if you'll forgive the pun)"
synonyms: play on words, wordplay, double entendre, innuendo, witticism, quip, bon mot More
""you can make your own antifreeze by stealing her blanket" is a pun guaranteed to get some groans"

verb
verb: pun; 3rd person present: puns; past tense: punned; past participle: punned; gerund or present participle: punning

1.
make a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word.
"his first puzzle punned on composers, with answers like “Handel with care” and “Haydn go seek”"

1. Have you ever met an engineer in your life who actually reads instructions???

2. Some rules are meant to be broken.


3. This thread needed to be resurrected.

4. Refer to Posts 69 and 70. Is that better?

 

[Travis45]

Inbox is full. I’m trying to message you. Clear out your box and message me when you get a moment.

 

[churchmouse]

Inbox is full. I’m trying to message you. Clear out your box and message me when you get a moment.

Try and be a bit more specific. This is a 6 years dead thread.

 

[mike trible]

But, it is not late till 2, then it is too late.