Need carry recommendations for the wifey

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  • XbigcheezX

    Plinker
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    Jan 17, 2021
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    My wife is wanting her first personal carry handgun, and while I have my own thoughts on what I think she should have, I would like to get some input from the more experienced owners on here that may have some insight.

    She wants something smaller, and compact. Pretty would be nice, but is not a requirement.

    She had a 5 year indiana permit that expired, will need to go through the process again.

    I have carried an M&P 40, Walther PPK/S, and now a Sig P238. I don't know how comfortable I am with her carrying a single action like my P238, as it requires a bit more training and experience to carry safely compared to a double action like Glock or S&W in my experience. Revolvers seem extremely reliable and less likely to fail or cause an unintentional misfire by accident. I have never owned a revolver, but have shot them on a few occasions and would like feedback on if we should/should-not consider a revolver and why.

    We are not made of money, I even had to sell a couple of my guns a couple of years ago during a rough period to cover bills. Considering the current political climate, and scarcity of inventory, we are looking at second hand/used options.

    She would likely be carrying this on her hip, and in the car, and occasionally a purse/bag. She is not a great shot, not a bad shot. Is comfortable handling weapons safely, but not an expert.

    With those thoughts in mind, does anyone have any advice or insight we should be thinking about in selecting a good firearm/caliber for her. What would you recommend?
     

    wwdkd

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    I went through the same thing with my wife. She's competent with firearms, but does not train enough to be comfortable carrying a semi auto. I doubt she would remember how to clear any malfunctions that would arise. Because of that, she felt more comfortable with a revolver, but did not like the recoil of .38 spl. So, when she tried the Ruger LCR in .22 she loved it! It's light, easy to use, no recoil, and an 8 round capacity. Now, I'm not thrilled with .22 as a defensive load, but it's better than nothing and it gets her to carry so, it is what it is.
     

    MCgrease08

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    You might want to start by looking at a used Taurus or Charter Arms in .38 spl. Something with a 3 inch barrel wouldn't add much in terms of size, but adds a lot in terms of accuracy and shootablity. Shooting .38 in a gun chambered for .357 would be even better in terms of taming recoil.

    Small compact guns might be easy to carry but they generally aren't fun to shoot or train with, especially for novices. So don't get hung up on size right off the bat. It has to be something she is willing to practice with.

    I'd recommend taking things slow and spending the time (and money) to try a few different guns to help narrow things down to what she likes and explore how she wants to carry. Obviously on body is best.

    There is a Revere's Riders ladies only basic pistol class coming up in the spring that will allow her to get excellent instruction and exposure to a variety of different pistols and carry methods in a low pressure environment.


    I would at the very least give her a copy of the book, The Cornered Cat by Kathy Jackson. It covers all of the considerations ladies need to think through that men don't.
     
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    AZ D

    Marksman
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    Jan 27, 2013
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    I tend to lean towards a small .38 special revolver like the Ruger LCR, or one of the small single stack 9mm’s like the S&W Shield, as my recommendation to new shooters. It really depends on the shooter.

    I prefer to start someone out with something in .22lr, as their first experience, but as already noted, sometimes they don’t want to step up to anything larger.
     

    jwamplerusa

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    Whatever she wants, after she has shot a variety of arms. If you don't have a selection, hit up your friends or spend time at a range with a good selection of rentals.

    Her life, her carry style, her gun, her choice. If you wouldn't want me picking your carry piece, you don't want to try to pick hers.
     

    wtburnette

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    When you say she wants a compact sized gun, do you mean small, or do you mean the category of compact, which is the size of a G19? If you're looking for a gun that size, which is inexpensive, or relatively so, you can pick up something like a Canik TP9 series pistol. If you go used, you might be able to find something in the ~$350 range. They are great pistols for the price. Another good option, but a bit more, is the Beretta APX Centurion, which you can find new for under $400, so possibly less if you can find one used.

    If you mean a small gun when you say compact, you're probably talking about the subcompact category. If so, something like the Sig P365 would be perfect, but probably out of your price range. A nice, inexpensive subcompact would be the Ruger LCP II. It's very small, but I've shot 3 of them and every one worked well with every brand of ammo we tried in it. Not as accurate as a bigger gun, but I believe they're in the sub $300 range new, at least the last time I looked. Possibly cheaper used. The gun is also small enough to conceal very well, if that's her desire.

    Either way, definitely let her shoot whatever you're looking at and make the decision. If you can find a range that has it in the rental case, even better.
     

    92FSTech

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    The trick is to find something big enough that she can shoot comfortably without getting beaten up by the recoil, but small enough that she can reasonably carry it.

    The question of semi-auto vs revolver to me comes down to how much she is willing to train. A semi-auto is going to require a little more dedication to learn the controls and ergonomics, and a thorough understanding of the operation of the weapon to ensure safe handling. I'm not sure how much hand-strength she has, but many of my female friends have had difficulty racking the slide on many of my semi-autos, so that's something to make sure she can do before you settle on a gun.

    The operation of a revolver from the user's perspective is simpler and more straightforward. They do require some practice to master the trigger pull, though, and reloading one at speed under pressure is truly a task for an expert.

    IMO, I'd look into a Ruger SP101 loaded with .38 Special, or if she's not recoil sensitive, a Ruger LCR for the light weight and smooth trigger. For a semi-auto option, I like the Sig P320. It has a great trigger, and the modular grip makes it easy to customize to different hand sizes. But whatever you do, I'd have her try it and make sure she's comfortable with it, and that it's what SHE wants before you plunk down the cash for it.
     

    MCgrease08

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    My 75 yr old mother packs a Ruger LCP in her purse. Nice small gun in .380.
    How often has she shot the LCP?

    Much respect to any 75 year old lady that can handle a pistol like that, but my guess is the percentage of older women who can't is something approaching 99%.
     

    smittygj

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    How often has she shot the LCP?

    Much respect to any 75 year old lady that can handle a pistol like that, but my guess is the percentage of older women who can't is something approaching 99%.
    Surprisingly she does quite well. She's no spring chicken, but a Texas Mama, and has shot guns all her life. She bought it back when there was a limited edition run of them when then Governor Rick Perry shot a coyote with one. So Ruger did a limited run of a Texas edition Coyote version, and she bought it and loved it.
     

    smittygj

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    Surprisingly she does quite well. She's no spring chicken, but a Texas Mama, and has shot guns all her life. She bought it back when there was a limited edition run of them when then Governor Rick Perry shot a coyote with one. So Ruger did a limited run of a Texas edition Coyote version, and she bought it and loved it.
    Her previous go to gun (though not carried) was her Colt Woodsman .22 that Dad had. But she carries her LCP in her purse.
     

    XbigcheezX

    Plinker
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    I went through the same thing with my wife. She's competent with firearms, but does not train enough to be comfortable carrying a semi auto. I doubt she would remember how to clear any malfunctions that would arise. Because of that, she felt more comfortable with a revolver, but did not like the recoil of .38 spl. So, when she tried the Ruger LCR in .22 she loved it! It's light, easy to use, no recoil, and an 8 round capacity. Now, I'm not thrilled with .22 as a defensive load, but it's better than nothing and it gets her to carry so, it is what it is.
    She has shot everything, but the problem we have right now is money, and ammo. I have buckets of .22, and about 24 rounds of .380 for my personal carry. I personally think we should start with a good .22 and we spend the time at the range building her confidence, and then upgrade her, kinda like the ring on her finger. The only question then is revolver or semi-auto.
     

    MCgrease08

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    Surprisingly she does quite well. She's no spring chicken, but a Texas Mama, and has shot guns all her life. She bought it back when there was a limited edition run of them when then Governor Rick Perry shot a coyote with one. So Ruger did a limited run of a Texas edition Coyote version, and she bought it and loved it.
    Good for her. I wish my mom had the same mindset. Mine is pretty anti-gun.
     

    Usmccookie

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    Imho, Revolvers are not a great choice contrary to old timer legend. Shooting a smaller revolver even in a lighter 38spl is a pain to shoot and takes a lot of practice. Simple to operate, yes, if its a dao. You dont save much in weight or size as compared to a single stack 9. something like the s&w shield 380 ez would be my top choice for a novice shooter with a light load requirement. :2cents:
     

    XbigcheezX

    Plinker
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    1   0   0
    Jan 17, 2021
    118
    28
    NWI
    When you say she wants a compact sized gun, do you mean small, or do you mean the category of compact, which is the size of a G19? If you're looking for a gun that size, which is inexpensive, or relatively so, you can pick up something like a Canik TP9 series pistol. If you go used, you might be able to find something in the ~$350 range. They are great pistols for the price. Another good option, but a bit more, is the Beretta APX Centurion, which you can find new for under $400, so possibly less if you can find one used.

    If you mean a small gun when you say compact, you're probably talking about the subcompact category. If so, something like the Sig P365 would be perfect, but probably out of your price range. A nice, inexpensive subcompact would be the Ruger LCP II. It's very small, but I've shot 3 of them and every one worked well with every brand of ammo we tried in it. Not as accurate as a bigger gun, but I believe they're in the sub $300 range new, at least the last time I looked. Possibly cheaper used. The gun is also small enough to conceal very well, if that's her desire.

    Either way, definitely let her shoot whatever you're looking at and make the decision. If you can find a range that has it in the rental case, even better.
    Thank you for the specific recommendations, this gives me something to focus on while researching. I think when I say compact, I am thinking small, but not necessarily micro like the ruger LCP. I owned one of those once, and it shot for **** on accuracy, so I got rid of that one pretty quick, when I went up to the Walther PPK/s, which was great, but heavy, and finally am happy with the Sig P238.

    For my wife though, I am thinking a .380 or maybe a 9mm, even a .22lr. After talking with her more, she really just wants to own her own gun and spend more time at the range building her confidence. I am looking at some solid .22lr options now as we have plenty of .22lr ammo to practice without spending a lot of money. I have a full sized Ruger 22/45, threaded (and suppressed), but that is much too big for her to carry, so looking at revolvers and some of the .22 options now. She wasn't too thrilled about a .22, but when I started breaking down the costs of ammo, availability (or lack thereof atm), and how effective a .22 can be in the right hands, she seems open to the idea.

    Another poster suggested a Taurus with a shotgun shell, which, if self defense was my only concern, would be a viable option for her.

    Sound like we need to hit the range and rent a few option and really prioritize a bit before deciding on this.
     
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