Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[actaeon277]

This just popped up on my FB memories...




Nothing like learning a full auto 9mm pistol, with someone got his arm ready to shove me overboard if I did something stupid.

 

[actaeon277]

Saw this video...




And it reminded me...

Lights are kinda important on a sub. Kinda.
So the engineering lights are on an auto transfer switch.
Makes sure the lights are supplied from port bus or starboard bus. If a bus loses power, the switch transfers to the powered bus.

Anyway, one time it decided to select BOTH port AND starboard.
Well, you can't do that with AC.
So, the transfer switch BLEW UP.
And ALL the lights in engineering went out.
So, the battle lanterns came on.
The video talks about over 24 hours of lighting available.

Well, our lights lasted about 3 seconds.

And yes, you could maneuver around in the dark, from memory.
Also, there were non-skid marks on the floor, to mark EAB manifolds.

But good thing some had flashlights, cause trying to FIND AND FIX the problem?
Impossible without lights.

So, after that, started carrying the old mini mag lights.


FYI: we had the yellow lanterns

 

[actaeon277]

This just popped up on my FB memories...

View attachment 272102


Nothing like learning a full auto 9mm pistol, with someone got his arm ready to shove me overboard if I did something stupid.

I was skinnier
no bald spot
much less grey

 

[KellyinAvon]

As far as Military BS stories, there is one I've heard multiple times and from multiple (quote-unquote) witnesses.

Osan Air Base, ROK (about 40 miles south of Seoul). Outside the Songton Gate is Songton City. Bars, places that sell stuff including red Lakers jerseys, bars, the old guy selling mink blankets who was there when we were flying the F-86 Sabre, bars, fake Rolex watches, bars, you get the picture.

Pedestrians coming on Osan go through a small building, everybody shows ID to the USAF Cops and proceeds through to the base. A dude obviously on a So-Ju experience couldn't find his wallet to show his ID. He didn't realize he was buck naked.

I searched the thread to see if I'd told this one before, I searched on "mink blanket" and there is more of this story to tell

Once again 1992-93, young USAF SSgt KellyinAvon is stationed at K-2 Air Base Taegu, RoK but occasionally made my way up to Osan Air Base (largest USAF base in the RoK) about 40 miles south of Seoul.

One thing about being stationed in Korea (of course after those who were there 1950-1953) it didn't matter which base, it didn't matter what year, you had something in common and could talk about things that went on there.

I remember once I was talking with a group of fellow Senior NCOs (1999, right before I changed jobs and thankfully left No Hope Pope, NC) and our times there spanned almost 20 years (1980-1999) and four different bases (Osan, Kunsan, Taegu, and Suwon were represented... met very few who were at Kwang-gu, I spent a weekend there for a softball tournament but that's a whole other thread!)

So I say, "Do you remember the hard-sell mink blanket adashi (man) who always wore a coat and a Stringbean hat?" Every one of them said yes! He would yell from across the street, "HEY GI!! YOU WANT MINK BLANKET??!!"

Dude was old as the hills in the early 90s, I always joked that he was selling mink blankets outside the gate at Osan when Gus Grissom was flying F-86 Sabres over MiG Alley.

 

[Alamo]

I was looking for something relate to GPS when I ran across an article written by some Brit in GPS World magazine about the single most useful thing I did in the military. I added the underlining:

Operational Anti-Jam Units​

With some images courtesy of my friends at Raytheon, let’s look at a few examples of deployed military CRPA hardware over the years.

The GAS-1 system entered service in the U.S. in 1997, as a replacement for the earlier AE-1 (1990 to 1996). The CRPA is composed of two parts: the antenna array, which is a seven-element layout, and the antenna electronics as a separate box. The GAS-1 was incredibly successful and became the de facto standard anti-jam technology, fitted to air and sea platforms around the world. Even today, 20 years after its launch, it continues to be fitted to many platforms.

Figure 5. GAS-1 CRPA. (Photo: Raytheon)
By the late 1990s and early 2000s, the Navigation Warfare (NAVWAR) program was in full swing…

I was chief of the Source Selection Evaluation Team that produced the RFP, evaluated the contractors bids, tested the hardware samples, and presented the results to the Source Selection Authority (SSA), who picked the winning bid for the GPS Antenna System.

In the late 90s, when I was an officer at the GPS Joint Program Office at Los Angeles AFB, the department of defense had a mandate and funding from Congress to put GPS into basically every vehicle does the DoD used in combat, along with a lot of pockets (PLGR!) By the year 2000. It was called Project 2000, and we had only about five years to get it done.

Although the GPS JPO Wasn’t the only government agency buying GPS units, we bought the most, and were the primary GPS acquisition agent for the DoD. A part of the Space and Missile Systems Center, we had the largest (in terms of units purchased) avionics program in the Air Force, even bigger than anything Wright Patterson’s Aeronautical Systems Center had.

Aside from just buying all the GPS units, every individual system program office had to test the integration of GPS into the platform(s) they supervise: F-16, MLRS, AH-64, SSBN, what-have-you. Cost varied by platform, but in general terms, we used $1 million per platform as an estimate of the integration cost. Once the GPS system has been certified for that platform, people were not eager to change it because retesting it would be long and expensive.

The GAS-1 was for aircraft, primarily Air Force. There was a previous version of this thing called the Antenna Electronics 4 (AE-4) and Controlled Reception Pattern Antenna 2 (CRPA 2), pronounced “serpa two”. This is kind of a second generation, anti-jam antenna system, and it was pretty expensive, about $32,000 for the antenna electronics part if I recall correctly. A lot of Air Force platforms had already integrated the system into there platforms, but most of the platforms still did not have GPS yet. The Navy wasn’t as keen on anti-jam for some reason, so they used a simpler antenna system called AE-1 and the fixed reception pattern antenna (FRPA), pronounced “ferpa”.

The contract on the previous system was about to end, so we needed to let a new contract out for bid. Because of the aforementioned integration cost and schedule impacts, we could not buy something that was so different that it would cause any other system program office to have to redo their certification. So the new one would have to be a form/fitfunction drop-in replacement.

There had been a lot of advancements though in the anti-jam technology for GPS since the original antenna electronics had been created and certified. There was a big opportunity to greatly advance the anti-jam capabilities of our GPS installs. (This, of course also meant there was also a great opportunity to really **** things up by interrupting everybody else’s integration schedules.)

So we had to put together an acquisition that guaranteed we would get a form/fit/function replacement with absolutely no risk of producing it in large quantities according to stone-written schedules, yet bring in much better performance, and oh by the way make it cheaper too.

And we did! The actual source selection itself was a pretty neat story, and we ended up selecting Cossor of England (long history in electronics and avionics) which was a subsidiary of Raytheon, to produce the units at about $18,000 each. As SSET chief I was primarily responsible for the acquisition, and as such responsible for keeping the engineers, the logisticians, the contracting people, the financial people, and all the other bits and pieces, marching to the goal. Well, if not, marching, at least moving in the same direction. It was made more fun by the fact that being a joint operation, we had both Navy and Air Force, civilian and military, plus several support contractors in the mix.

And their units performed very very well, and the entire five-year contract went without a hitch. It looks like to me a new contract was put in place to keep producing the same unit for another couple years after the original contract expired. It appears about 5000 units overall were produced, maybe more.

It really was a fun, phenomenal, and important effort, and it was nice to read something nice about it so many years later.

Anti-jam technology: Demystifying the CRPA

GPS World offers a rundown on controlled reception pattern antennas, adaptive antennas, null-steering antennas, beamforming antennas and more.

www.gpsworld.com

 

[actaeon277]

I remember GPS being the 'new' thing.


Course, I also remember SINS (inertial nav) plotting us in Kansas.

 

[Alamo]

I remember GPS being the 'new' thing.


Course, I also remember SINS (inertial nav) plotting us in Kansas.

I got to the GPS joint program office at an interesting time in history. The Gulf War the year before made GPS famous, and suddenly everybody wanted it on everything and the money started flowing big time to the program office. Prior to Desert Storm there were people trying to kill GPS so the money could be used elsewhere, but Desert Shield/Desert Storm made it magic.

 

[actaeon277]

I got to the GPS joint program office at an interesting time in history. The Gulf War the year before made GPS famous, and suddenly everybody wanted it on everything and the money started flowing big time to the program office. Prior to Desert Storm there were people trying to kill GPS so the money could be used elsewhere, but Desert Shield/Desert Storm made it magic.

Military command seems to like missiles, planes, carriers, and tanks.

Why would they be concerned about knowing where you are?
After all...

 

[nonobaddog]

Military command seems to like missiles, planes, carriers, and tanks.

Why would they be concerned about knowing where you are?
After all...

See, if you have enough missiles, planes, carriers, and tanks then it doesn't matter where you are because you are already there.

 

[actaeon277]

Throughout the USS Triton's secret mission to circumnavigate the world submerged, the only unauthorized individual to spot the submarine during those sixty days was a Filipino man on his canoe, who noticed its periscope, 1 April 1960

 

[Nazgul]

Act????

 

[KellyinAvon]

the only unauthorized individual to spot the submarine during those sixty days was a Filipino man on his canoe, who noticed its periscope, 1 April 1960

That we know of... for years some guy was talking about the pipe-looking thing sticking out of the water and nobody believed him.

 

[xoregonian]

Navy guys, was this possible without the sailors knowing something was wrong?

My last month before I retired I printed out my service time. When my retirement order was approved it had total service and total service for pay computation. I knew what I should be getting. I checked that all my Army time was accounted for (Air Force retiree) Trust but verify.

Retirees Forced to Repay Money After Navy Software Glitch

The Navy has acknowledged that a software issue last winter led to issues for more than 1,200 of its retirees who are now having to repay money to the government.

www.military.com

 

[actaeon277]

Navy guys, was this possible without the sailors knowing something was wrong?

My last month before I retired I printed out my service time. When my retirement order was approved it had total service and total service for pay computation. I knew what I should be getting. I checked that all my Army time was accounted for (Air Force retiree) Trust but verify.

Retirees Forced to Repay Money After Navy Software Glitch

The Navy has acknowledged that a software issue last winter led to issues for more than 1,200 of its retirees who are now having to repay money to the government.

www.military.com

Depends on how much it was.
A small error can take a while. You just figure there was some 'adjustment' or something.
If you paycheck doubles, then you might question it.

My ACTIVE DUTY pay was screwed up for 1 year 7 months before I could finally get the Navy to address it.
Local disburser would override the error, and estimate the correct pay.
Then my LES would state I was overpaid by X amount of dollars.
Repeat EVERY month.

Finally, it was stated that I was overpaid so much, the Navy would halt my paychecks, except $20 or so for shave and soap, until the amount was paid back.
So, I finally put in a request for a Captain's Mast. Not everyone knows, but Captain's Mast are not just for discipline.
I attached a multi page letter with every interaction with the paymaster/disburser.
The Captain of the Base I was at, was ... shall we say "unhappy" with the time frame and lack of progress. Something about, how was the sailors on his base supposed to concentrate on their job when they were worried day to day about pay.
Then paymaster was unhappy, cause senior people started looking in to it. I guess the Captain of a Base doesn't speak to clerks. He speaks to the Captain of that Command. And those don't like to be called.

 

[actaeon277]

So, one time Fire Control system went down on the sub, while we were in exercises, with an admiral on board.
Most of the ETs (Electronics Techs) are only trained to troubleshoot down to the circuit board.
So, they trace it to the board, go to supply for the board, and find out there was NO SPARE.
OOPS!

So, the brought the board back to the nukes, cause nukes were taught component level repair.
I quickly found the problem, got the resister from supply, soldered it in.
Then, told my division chief and division officer (Reactor Controls Div) that I needed a few moments to diagnose the board. There was NO WAY THAT resistor could burn out. Something else had to happen to cause it. It was a symptom, not the problem.
NOPE! Didn't have the time. Admiral was waiting.
So, they put the board in, and the smoke came out.
Same resistor burned.

Went to supply for another, and the great Navy, in their infinite wisdom, only had ONE of each resistor.
ONE!
Now I know subs are small. Believe me, I know.
But really?
Have you ever looked at a hundred resistors.
They don't take up much room.
They coulda had a dozen of each.

So, did old fashioned 'resistor in parallel' calculations, and installed 2 resistors in parallel.
I need time to diagnose.
Again, no time.
Installed the board. Smoke came out.

Now, at the time, we were involved in some research (one of the things the Admiral was looking at) and were carrying some 'mission personnel'. No, not SEALs. 'Mission personnel' refers to any personnel NOT ship's personnel.
Anyway, the guy soldiered in the new resistors, AND they gave him time to diagnose it. He found another component blown, which forced the current through the one I had been replacing.

So, in the end, they asked me "How come YOU couldn't find the problem?".
Well guys, because you took the board away from me to look good in front of the admiral, instead of giving me 5 minutes to check it out.
Well, trying to save 5 minutes cost you A LOT more than 5.

 

[target64]

Navy guys, was this possible without the sailors knowing something was wrong?

My last month before I retired I printed out my service time. When my retirement order was approved it had total service and total service for pay computation. I knew what I should be getting. I checked that all my Army time was accounted for (Air Force retiree) Trust but verify.

Retirees Forced to Repay Money After Navy Software Glitch

The Navy has acknowledged that a software issue last winter led to issues for more than 1,200 of its retirees who are now having to repay money to the government.

www.military.com

If we got paid close to what it was the previous period, no questions asked. You sure as hell did not want to go to payroll and wait in that line.

 

[xoregonian]

Yeah, I guess what I was looking for is when you first start drawing at age 60 you should know what that number is. Reserve retirements are all different and the chinese math involved gets stupid, but you can figure out what you should get in the beginning. If the Navy got it wrong from the start the retiree should've known. If this software computed something different for people that had been drawing retired pay for awhile, they might have thought it was a COLA increase, and since no documentation was sent, how would they know the increase was a mistake? Even after you retire, they still want to bend you over.

 

[Alamo]

So, one time Fire Control system went down on the sub, while we were in exercises, with an admiral on board.
Most of the ETs (Electronics Techs) are only trained to troubleshoot down to the circuit board.
So, they trace it to the board, go to supply for the board, and find out there was NO SPARE.
OOPS!

So, the brought the board back to the nukes, cause nukes were taught component level repair.
I quickly found the problem, got the resister from supply, soldered it in.
Then, told my division chief and division officer (Reactor Controls Div) that I needed a few moments to diagnose the board. There was NO WAY THAT resistor could burn out. Something else had to happen to cause it. It was a symptom, not the problem.
NOPE! Didn't have the time. Admiral was waiting.
So, they put the board in, and the smoke came out.
Same resistor burned.

Went to supply for another, and the great Navy, in their infinite wisdom, only had ONE of each resistor.
ONE!
Now I know subs are small. Believe me, I know.
But really?
Have you ever looked at a hundred resistors.
They don't take up much room.
They coulda had a dozen of each.

So, did old fashioned 'resistor in parallel' calculations, and installed 2 resistors in parallel.
I need time to diagnose.
Again, no time.
Installed the board. Smoke came out.

Now, at the time, we were involved in some research (one of the things the Admiral was looking at) and were carrying some 'mission personnel'. No, not SEALs. 'Mission personnel' refers to any personnel NOT ship's personnel.
Anyway, the guy soldiered in the new resistors, AND they gave him time to diagnose it. He found another component blown, which forced the current through the one I had been replacing.

So, in the end, they asked me "How come YOU couldn't find the problem?".
Well guys, because you took the board away from me to look good in front of the admiral, instead of giving me 5 minutes to check it out.
Well, trying to save 5 minutes cost you A LOT more than 5.

Wasn’t this a fill-in-the-blank question on one of your promotion exams?

“There is never time to do it right but _____ __ ______ ____ __ __ __ ____.”

 

[actaeon277]

Wasn’t this a fill-in-the-blank question on one of your promotion exams?

“There is never time to do it right but _____ __ ______ ____ __ __ __ ____.”

People were "impressed" by having an Admiral checking up on us.
Usually, the highest we had on board would be a Captain.
Our own Captain, was not the rank of Captain.
In my time on board, we had an Admiral on board for this evaluation, and ONE other time when we had the head of each service's special forces units there for a demo of our capabilities, which were only done by one sub on the East Coast, and one on the West coast. The West coast did have another "special", but it was smaller and less room for "riders".

Usually higher ups avoided our sub.
We were old and broken.
They preferred the newer Los Angeles class, and Ohio class.

 

[actaeon277]

I met another sub guy, from another sub.
He was complaining that he was on the SECOND oldest of his sub class. And they had to keep fixing things, it was so old it kept breaking.
Well, we were in Norfolk. So, I know the Ohio class wasn't in Norfolk.
We were the only boomer there, and we were converted.
We had a squadron of Los Angeles's, and a squadron of the class previous to that, though that class was being decomm'd and replaced by LA class.
So, I looked at this guy, and said, "Are you on the 689?"
Los Angeles is 688, and the 2nd oldest would be 689.
He looked at me and whined, "Yes".

I stared at him, and told him to look at my ball cap.
USS JOHN MARSHALL
SSN-611.

Don't come to me and complain about old, when you're on 689, and I'm on 611.