Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

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  • 2A_Tom

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    So you're saying I picked the right recruiter??

    Not sure what that thing is, but we didn't have one. We had a Filipino dude who scooped the ice cream when we had it. We also had real silverware... I can't help it I worked at the same place, and ate at the same DFAC (Dining Facility) as the DCFACC (Deputy Combined Forces Air Component Commander, AKA the 2-Star.)
    So did I.
    143101-2.jpg
     

    2A_Tom

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    A second lieutenant jacked me up for not saluting him in the field once I explained to him that in the 82nd we call that a field firing squad.

    The next day I walked by the commanding general and said good morning sir as I walked by and he said, Good morning sergeant.
     

    actaeon277

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    A second lieutenant jacked me up for not saluting him in the field once I explained to him that in the 82nd we call that a field firing squad.

    The next day I walked by the commanding general and said good morning sir as I walked by and he said, Good morning sergeant.
    My first day reporting on the sub, I saluted an officer coming across the quarter deck.
    He told me, salute the CO, and XO. And DONT EVER salute him again, because he had neither the energy or desire to salute us back.
     

    actaeon277

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    No saluting INSIDE subs, because no saluting while uncovered.

    And, there was none of that 'attention on deck' crap either.
    Though I don't know if that was just our sub, or all subs.
    Maneuvering Room in Engineering was free of the attention on deck on any sub.
    You were supposed to have more attention on the reactor.. for some reason.
     

    Brad69

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    Walking out of a retirement briefing so happy !

    Guy getting out of his car about 75ft away starts yelling “Hey 1SG don’t you salute officers“. Full COL 0-6 blah blah blah. Dude was getting really mad he could tell I didn’t give a $’sh. Some ADA guy probably never had a hard day in the Army.

    I was in 2nd Div HQ in Korea our mess hall was the Commanding Generals mess for E-6 up.
    Great food and a bar! Separate room for NCO’s we had to pay a .50 surcharge per meal.
    Could run a tab at the bar!

    Went into a Navy mess hall when I was a SFC E-7 got my tray and started to set down. Young Navy guy told me “ you have to go to the Chief’s mess”. Wow some big guy’s in there!
     

    KellyinAvon

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    That is really roughing it when the chocolate fountain isn't even leveled for you.
    I am wondering where that was at. No patches on ABUs (never wore that abomination of a

    My first day reporting on the sub, I saluted an officer coming across the quarter deck.
    He told me, salute the CO, and XO. And DONT EVER salute him again, because he had neither the energy or desire to salute us back.
    Saluting... more to follow.
     

    KellyinAvon

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    I am wondering where that was at. No patches on ABUs (never wore that abomination of a




    Saluting... more to follow.
    Rendering the hand salute: both a custom and a courtesy, this dates back to when... oh who the hell cares!

    In the ROK back in 92-93: I swear I got saluted by ROKAF Airmen more than I ever initiated a salute (enlisted troops salute officers, they return it, it's a thing) but I was always on team "if someone salutes you, salute them back."

    My first day wearing SMSgt (Senior Master Sergeant) stripes in May 2005: coming through the entry point into the CAOC (Combined forces Air Operations Center) Compound in Al Adeid, Qatar I got saluted... so I returned it. There was like 12 officers in front of me so...

    Rockville Iceland 1997: my boss was a Major who was from Brooklyn (and I don't mean Brooklyn, Indiana. This guy could of been in Goodfellas.) When we were closing the Radar Site there was a bunch of folks out there looking at some equipment. About the third time he saluted someone he yelled thaaaaat's enough.

    Back to the Deid in 05. I was wearing SMSgt so I didn't have many days left there (sewed on 1 May, left 15 May.) I walk up to the bus stop to get over to CAOC Compound (where I worked) from Coalition Compound (where I lived, pretty much a giant trailer park that resembled a medium security prison.) There were probably 4 others waiting on the bus, all officers (three Captains and one First Lieutenant IIRC.) I walk up, "Morning ladies and gentlemen" or something like that was my "informal verbal greeting". The three Captains return the salute, the 1Lt is staring straight through me while I'm holding a salute. One Mississippi... WHILE WE'RE STILL YOUNG, LIEUTENANT in my best authoritative voice. The three Captains busted out laughing and the 1Lt woke up at that point. She was an Executive Officer for a PITA Colonel, so I could understand.
     

    actaeon277

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    I am ssssooooooo glad that submariners mostly didn't have to deal with what was called "Mickey Mouse Stuff".

    My dungarees had the 'crow' on them, because I wore them on a base.
    But my coveralls, never had to care about putting a rank on them.

    If we had visitors, I usually just had to stay aft to avoid them.
    Most people want to stay away from the zoomies for some reason.


    ONCE we had various bigwigs from various 'special' forces with us, something about helping their ability to understand the flexibility involved with ... blah blah blah stuff.

    As I said, no saluting inside. No 'attention on deck' in Maneuvering. Well, I don't remember it anywhere, but like I said, I hid aft to avoid people/things.

    So, they were touring Engineering while I was RO (Reactor Operator).
    I not only didn't salute, and didn't stand, but I never turned my face from the panel, just as a RO is SUPPOSED to do. They actually drilled into us in training, that you don't need to face anyone to talk to them. You project your voice, they will hear you.

    So, I smartly kept my mouth shut while they were touring Maneuvering.
    I just hear blah blah blah (talk people make that know about ZERO about submarines), and the officer dragging them around asks.. ANY QUESTIONS?

    Some General asks, "What about the THRESHER? Could that happen to us?"
    Thresher sank 10 Apr 1963.

    THERE WAS SILENCE.
    I mean, during this, mostly we were quiet. But you still need to communicate and do your job, it has priority over EVERYONE.
    But now... nothing.
    Submariners tend to be superstitious types. Not super blatantly superstitious, but mentioning a sub that died on builder's trials, and not in combat? YIKES!
    The officer giving the tour replied, no it can't, and we'll discuss why when we go up forward if you like.

    It was kinda funny in a way.
    We had a manual on the event. Could quote all kinds of reasons why. But usually done.. on the surface.
     

    actaeon277

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    On our 1000th dive we had some Navy Squadron bigwigs, maybe some higher ups also, visit.
    The hull of those subs were rated for cyclic pressure variations of 1000 dives.
    Of course, there was a 'safety margin'. But 1000 is what they were looking at in a 30 year life.
    So these bigwigs were on board, to be able to boast they were there.

    I was forward, TRYING to get aft away from them, when one stopped me and asked me, 'What do you think about being here for the 1000th dive sailor?"
    I looked him in the eye, and told him I was more worried about the 1000th surface than I was worried about the dive.
    He asked me if there was something he should know.
    I told him, you always want the dive and the surface column to MATCH.
    Course, you don't worry about it.
    Because if you surface, you're okay.
    And if you don't, the ocean is so deep you'll be dead before you can worry long.
    Then I took my happy keyster back to engineering before officers or chiefs could appear to tell me to stop making NUBs worry.

    NUB
    Non
    Usable
    Body.
    People that can't stand watch (such as new crew), or can't support the mission in any way, are NUBs.

    A 'rider' that translates languages, or leaves to go kill people, doesn't count, they do something.
    Someone that just sucks down precious oxygen, eats our limited food, and can't support the mission, is a NUB/
     

    actaeon277

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    We placed a Styrofoam cup on the bridge before we submerged.
    When we surfaced later...
    Well that's what this video shows.

    (except, 1 we didn't go down as far as the pressure in the video, 2 our cup survived with less damage, probably due to it being a slower pressure transient.)

     

    Creedmoor

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    NUB
    Non
    Usable
    Body.
    People that can't stand watch (such as new crew), or can't support the mission in any way, are NUBs.

    A 'rider' that translates languages, or leaves to go kill people, doesn't count, they do something.
    Someone that just sucks down precious oxygen, eats our limited food, and can't support the mission, is a NUB/
    Never heard NUB before...I like it. It will ne added to my everyday language.

    Don

    In the MC they still call them POG's.
    And a POG will tell you they are a POG.
    People Other than Grunts.
     

    Nazgul

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    Near the big river.
    I remember POGS well from the Marines.

    Stationed in MARDET on CV-67 Sgt Barnett was our POG. He loved to chase women on the weekends. I would take his duty for him often so he could get it on. Whenever I came back from leave he would conveniently forget to log it in the records. I always had the max days leave on the books.

    Don
     

    actaeon277

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    It's not the first time a debate over the fleece has popped up, as questions sporadically surface about whether the jacket is primarily intended to be an undergarment worn under other cold weather gear. Though Army rules make it clear the jacket can be worn as an outer garment and are otherwise generally loose on when and where troops can wear it.

    A top Army official overseeing uniform rules squashed any of that confusion back in January.

    "It's an outer garment," Sgt. Maj. Ashleigh Sykes, the top enlisted leader for uniform policy said on Twitter in January. "There is hook and loop for name tapes, rank, and US Army to make that obvious."
     

    actaeon277

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    Okay, I posted the last thread, just so I could laugh.

    Many things I can complain about on a sub (did, and do), but fortunately we were MOSTLY immune to Mickey Mouse s***.

    As a military outfit, of course, posted was the 'uniform of the day'.
    I never really had to look, though I might have noticed when I was looking for something else.

    At sea,UOD was Submarine Coveralls (poopy suit), or dungarees.
    Never really saw dungarees, unless it was a new guy, or someone ran out of laundry.

    In port, it was dungarees.

    Dungarees were allowed more latitude than surface pukes had to deal with.
    Of course, they couldn't be excessively frayed or faded. You saved those for special details, like painting.
    But surface pukes had to have them looking great.
    Subs, well... we were on pigboats, so..


    Only wore working whites or blues, while in school.

    As for dress whites or blues, Nuclear Power School we had to wear them on Fridays.
    The entire 5.5 years of the rest of my career, probably count on both my hands how many times I wore it.
    And on the sub, 3.5 years, maybe 3 times... maybe.

    In fact, at sea, I never had work whites (blues) or dress whites (blues).
    I think people standing topside watch in port had to have an outfit.


    And if I stood phone talker on the bridge during maneuvering watch, well, you wore what you needed to stay warm. No one was there to see you.
    I often wore an OLD style Foul Weather Coat, cause it was warmer and more comfortable than the NEW.
    BUT, if it was wet, or rough seas, I'd wear the NEW style, because it was a nylon jacket over a rubber sheet, which TRIED to keep me dryer.
    Though, now that I think about it, I got wet anyway.
    But at least when I got to go below, my old style one was still dry and warm for me.
     

    actaeon277

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    Oh, and the old style foul weather coat came in handy just standing watch on the reactor.
    The nav (navigation) equipment was cooled by the A/C plant.
    Now we had a big A/C plant for when we were running, because steam plants tend to be HOT.
    But we had a smaller unit for when shutdown.

    Unfortunately we need to run that A/C ALL THE TIME, even if it was 10 below zero and we were shut down, because of the damn nav equipment.
     

    Brad69

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    That's some of the BS that makes me glad I have a blue ID card.

    BTW
    The CO can set the uniform as long as it conforms to AR 670-1.

    Normally this is left up to the CSM or 1SG.



    Little known fact General Officer's can set personal uniforms. That why you see Patton looking crazy.
     
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