Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[nonobaddog]

When we were in port, and shut down, I was okay.
But when we were running, I exceeded the monthly limit set by my sub, almost every month.

You know that's not good, right?
Even if you develop something from it you won't even be able to sue them.

 

[actaeon277]

You know that's not good, right?
Even if you develop something from it you won't even be able to sue them.

The Federal Government (Dept. of Energy) has a yearly, and quarterly limit set.
Exceed it, and you have to sit out the rest of the quarter or year, and your company gets a sharp rap on the knuckles.

So, the Navy doesn't want to get in trouble, wants their program to be stellar, so they take that limit and set their own limit, something like 1/10th of the Federal limit.
If you don't exceed the Navy limit, then you can't exceed the Federal limit.

Then the individual command, in my case SSN-611, doesn't want to get in trouble with the Navy, cause then senior command officials get in trouble. So, they set their limit even lower than the Navy's limit. Way lower.
Cause, if you don't exceed the command limit, then you can't exceed the Navy limit.

Now, the Federal limit, and Navy limit is a set amount. It doesn't matter what job you work, you have the same limit.
And, you are supposed to minimize your exposure, regardless. The effects are chances or odds of stuff happening. So you always minimize your risk.
So, the sub set limits, based on your job.
Non nukes are supposed to be "non detectable". They get a film badge. It should never show any exposure.
ELTs (Engineering Laboratory Technician) has the highest limit. Because they sample the Primary Coolant, and spend time closer to the reactor. You want distance between you and the reactor, you want more shielding between, and you want more time away.
AMR2UL watches have lower limit than ELTs, but not as low as a generic nuke. I was in this category. They have higher limits because our space is next to the reactor. And we assist the ELTs.
Then there is the generic nukes. They have a lower limit than AMR2UL, and ELTs. But a higher limit than the non-nukes.

A lot of the ELTs liked working with me, so they sampled coolant on my watch more than the others.
So I spent more time closer to the reactor than other watches.
So, my count was higher.
but it was still below the ELT limit.
Which was below the Navy limit.
Which was below the Federal limit.




Now that I've bored everyone.

 

[actaeon277]

And, while underwater, I'm not getting radiation from the sun, from local effects (bricks and radon), or from old style Cathode Ray Tubes (TVs).

 

[nonobaddog]

The Federal Government (Dept. of Energy) has a yearly, and quarterly limit set.
Exceed it, and you have to sit out the rest of the quarter or year, and your company gets a sharp rap on the knuckles.

So, the Navy doesn't want to get in trouble, wants their program to be stellar, so they take that limit and set their own limit, something like 1/10th of the Federal limit.
If you don't exceed the Navy limit, then you can't exceed the Federal limit.

Then the individual command, in my case SSN-611, doesn't want to get in trouble with the Navy, cause then senior command officials get in trouble. So, they set their limit even lower than the Navy's limit. Way lower.
Cause, if you don't exceed the command limit, then you can't exceed the Navy limit.

Now, the Federal limit, and Navy limit is a set amount. It doesn't matter what job you work, you have the same limit.
And, you are supposed to minimize your exposure, regardless. The effects are chances or odds of stuff happening. So you always minimize your risk.
So, the sub set limits, based on your job.
Non nukes are supposed to be "non detectable". They get a film badge. It should never show any exposure.
ELTs (Engineering Laboratory Technician) has the highest limit. Because they sample the Primary Coolant, and spend time closer to the reactor. You want distance between you and the reactor, you want more shielding between, and you want more time away.
AMR2UL watches have lower limit than ELTs, but not as low as a generic nuke. I was in this category. They have higher limits because our space is next to the reactor. And we assist the ELTs.
Then there is the generic nukes. They have a lower limit than AMR2UL, and ELTs. But a higher limit than the non-nukes.

A lot of the ELTs liked working with me, so they sampled coolant on my watch more than the others.
So I spent more time closer to the reactor than other watches.
So, my count was higher.
but it was still below the ELT limit.
Which was below the Navy limit.
Which was below the Federal limit.




Now that I've bored everyone.

Not boring at all - a good description of how the system works, and in this case it actually does work.

 

[actaeon277]

Not boring at all - a good description of how the system works, and in this case it actually does work.

Works better than Chernobyl.
That was scary poop.
The government just ignoring reality and trying to MAKE their own.

 

[Hawkeye]

When we were in port, and shut down, I was okay.
But when we were running, I exceeded the monthly limit set by my sub, almost every month.

That explains sooo much about you.

 

[Chewie]

That explains sooo much about you.

What inquiring minds want to know is how do you hide that third eye you grew so well?

 

[Nazgul]

What inquiring minds want to know is how do you hide that third eye you grew so well?

EEWWww!!!!!!! TMI!!!!!!!

Don

 

[2A_Tom]

Easy peasy.

 

[AndreusMaximus]

Easy peasy.

View attachment 213994

View attachment 213996

Must be too much radiation on Venus.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Nazgul]

Sort of a military BS story. Immediately after leaving the Marines I stayed with my Mom and Dad. They had a neighbor that I grew up with, long haired, lived at home, no job, plenty of money [drug sales]. He had a new Pontiac TransAm with a T-top and a new Harley, again with no regular job. His mom had a little Terrier dog that was absolutely hateful and barked all the time. She would walk the dog and stand their smoking a cigarette and let it dump on our lawn. This occurred every single day. My Dad complained to me about it one day. Next day I stepped in the poo with a brand new pair of shoes.

With my Marine attitude in full force I got a bucket and picked up all the crap I could find and went to put it in the T-top of his car. Top was shut, the next obvious place was the Harley. Painted the entire bike with it and prayed the douche wanted a confrontation. Next morning my Mom was hysterically laughing at the window listening to him abuse his mother and threatening to kill the dog if she let it crap on anybody else's lawn again.

They got the message.

Don

 

[KellyinAvon]

If I've told this one before don't stop me, I want to hear it again

Back in 1997, young USAF TSgt KellyinAvon was at the soon to be closed Rockville Radar Site in Iceland.

So one day we had an Icelandic Contractor working on an overhead door. He'd parked his Euro specs industrial mini-van (4X4, maybe a Scania) in front of another overhead door my young Supply troop (maybe 22-23), the contractor told him the keys were in it, just move it.

The kid comes back a minute later, he's freaking out. He says, "It's an automatic, but has a clutch! It's in low gear and not park!" Well being a bit older and from the country I knew what it was before walking out there. We go out there and after about 30 seconds of "3 on the tree 101", he moved it without a hitch. The contractor was laughing his arse off.

Very few Icelanders have a sense of humor. That's a variation on what my boss in Korea did when he sent me to where the Korean Contractors worked on the WRM (HARVEST EAGLE packages) at Taegu to borrow a forklift from Mr Lee. There were six Mr Lees that worked there and most didn't speak much English.

 

[nonobaddog]

If I've told this one before don't stop me, I want to hear it again

Back in 1997, young USAF TSgt KellyinAvon was at the soon to be closed Rockville Radar Site in Iceland.

So one day we had an Icelandic Contractor working on an overhead door. He'd parked his Euro specs industrial mini-van (4X4, maybe a Scania) in front of another overhead door my young Supply troop (maybe 22-23), the contractor told him the keys were in it, just move it.

The kid comes back a minute later, he's freaking out. He says, "It's an automatic, but has a clutch! It's in low gear and not park!" Well being a bit older and from the country I knew what it was before walking out there. We go out there and after about 30 seconds of "3 on the tree 101", he moved it without a hitch. The contractor was laughing his arse off.

Very few Icelanders have a sense of humor. That's a variation on what my boss in Korea did when he sent me to where the Korean Contractors worked on the WRM (HARVEST EAGLE packages) at Taegu to borrow a forklift from Mr Lee. There were six Mr Lees that worked there and most didn't speak much English.

Good thing it wasn't a "5 on the tree".

 

[actaeon277]

 

[KellyinAvon]

View attachment 216530

WHAT HAVE THESE ******* *********** DONE TO MY AIR FORCE??!!

Edit: worse than that, that's a Lt Col on the freaking (whatever those silly things are called) and that's an Air Combat Command patch. PLEASE tell me the Wing Commander had a long talk with this guy.

 

[KellyinAvon]

If I've told this one before don't stop me, I want to hear it again

1995-ish: Young USAF TSgt KellyinAvon is the Equipment Management NCOIC at McConnell AFB, Kansas.

The Intel-types on base contacted us since they had been authorized equipment that wasn't in their allowance standard (AKA Table of Allowance.) The muckety-mucks at HQ Air Mobility Command (HQ AMC, the big planes that don't drop bombs... usually) had blessed off on this, so we could put it on their equipment account.

So the equipment custodian comes down to our office with the message (old school official correspondence, has a date/time group which serves as the means to identify the specific message, always in Zulu time) from the HQ AMC Intel types and the HQ AMC Supply/Equipment types.

The message was TOP SECRET. Everything was redacted except the classification markings and the time and date group.

The equipment custodian (Intel Troop, so that's a pretty high ASVAB score, and a TSgt IIRC) saw nothing at all wrong with using what was a sheet of paper that someone had used a black highlighter on as authorization for equipment that the Intel types were not authorized.

Military Intelligence, now there's a contradiction in terms.

So my boss was a USAF Civvie who still had a TS clearance from the days McConnell had nukes. He went to the Intel building, read the message, they could have it. We put the incredibly redacted message in their account folder and went on about our day.

 

[actaeon277]

WHAT HAVE THESE ******* *********** DONE TO MY AIR FORCE??!!

Edit: worse than that, that's a Lt Col on the freaking (whatever those silly things are called) and that's an Air Combat Command patch. PLEASE tell me the Wing Commander had a long talk with this guy.

meh.
They're screwing up all the forces.

 

[actaeon277]

Thought some might be interested in this...

Signals used on a carrier deck