Lite hearted conversation & pictures

[flightsimmer]

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Earl Knopf <earleknopf@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Feb 23, 2021 at 4:34 PM
Subject: Fwd: funnies
To: Earl Knopf <deskofpastor@gmail.com>

we all need a laugh




Some old, some new but all funny

*
Don't let them take your temperature
on your forehead as you enter the supermarket
because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese
and came home with two cases of Beer​

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It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering​

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Turns out it was a marble in the ashtray...​

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Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself
That's a little condescending​

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MY MIND IS LIKE MY INTERNET BROWSER.
19 tabs open,
3 of them are frozen
and I have no idea
where the music is coming from.
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People who wonder
whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.​

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They say every piece of chocolate eaten
shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the math.
Seems I died in 1537.​

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I got myself a seniors' GPS.
Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination,
it tells me why I wanted to go there.
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Most people don't think I'm as old as I am
until they hear me stand up.
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Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.​

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I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do it's because I've missed my exit.​

--
In Christ alone are we Saved
Earl Knopf
Pastor South Venice Christian Church
2390 Seaboard Ave
Venice Fl 34293

Romans 8 For Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[flightsimmer]

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Earl Knopf
Date: Mon, Mar 15, 2021 at 10:25 AM
Subject: Fwd: Incredible Images
To: Earl Knopf <deskofpastor@gmail.com>

A cross sea is a sea state with two wave systems traveling at oblique angles.

This is what an eight-ton Orca jumping 20 feet out of the water looks like.



This is what a bubble looks like mid-pop.



This is what Wiltshire, England looks like.



This is what the Seattle skyline looks like.



This is what a sunset looks like from above the clouds.



This is a volcano in Ethiopia that burns bright blue.



This is what lions look like in the rain.



This is what a tree farm looks like.




This is what a huge rhododendron tree looks like.



This is how massive Tokyo is.



This is a process called guttation. The plant is expelling water due to a
positive root pressure.



This is what a Russian Red Fox looks like.



This is what the clovers that cover the floor of the California Redwood Forest
look like.



This is what Jupiter looks like from the bottom.



This is what a castle on an island in Ireland looks like.



This is what Venice looks like from above.



This is what the Dark Hedges of Northern Ireland look like.



This is what the pyramids look like from Cairo street.



This is what the border of the United States and Canada looks like.

--
In Christ alone are we Saved
Earl Knopf
Pastor South Venice Christian Church
2390 Seaboard Ave
Venice Fl 34293

Romans 8 For Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[flightsimmer]

This is what two hours’ worth of lightning on one pic looks like.



This is what an Osiria Rose looks like.



This is what the turquoise ice formations on Lake Baikal, Russia look like.



This is how Mt. Fuji cuts through the clouds.



This is what a snail drinking from a bubble looks like.



This is what Ice Canyon, Greenland looks like.



This is what sunset looks like from space.




This is what an illegally-taken picture from one of the Greta Giza Pyramids
looks like.



This is what the Apollo Metalmark Butterfly looks like.



This is what the sun looks like when shot in Ultraviolet.



This is what an oasis in Libya looks like.



This is what blue butterflies in the Amazon rainforest in Brazil look like.



This is what an Icelandic ice cave lit up by a burning flare looks like.



This is what a Lenticular cloud over Mount Fuji looks like.



This is what it looks like underneath a breaking wave.



This is how you tow an iceberg. In Newfoundland, icebergs are harvested
for their water.



This is what Paris looks like from the Eiffel Tower.

--
In Christ alone are we Saved
Earl Knopf
Pastor South Venice Christian Church
2390 Seaboard Ave
Venice Fl 34293

Romans 8 For Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[flightsimmer]

Subject: Fwd: Jeopardy for Seniors ... This is fun!

THE ANSWERS WILL BE ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER THE CORRECT ANSWER.
Let's see how good your memory is.
Don't look at the answers yet, until the end.
Youngsters, you don't have a chance.
I was picky as to who I sent this to.
It had to be those who might actually remember.
So have some fun my sharp-witted friends
This is a test for the 'older kids'!
The answers are printed below, (after the questions) but don't cheat! answer them first...
01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask,
"Who was that masked man?"
Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind."
What did he leave behind? A ______ ______.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The __ ________ Show.

03. "Get your kicks, __ _____ __!"

04. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to _______ ___ _______.'

05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ___ ____ ______ _______.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____.'


07. Nestle's makes the very best... _________.'

08. Satchmo was America 's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was ____ _________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? ___ _____ _____.

10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named ______ ___ __________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '___ ____ .'

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their _____ _____.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ______ or ___.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to _____ _____.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called _______.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the _____-____

16. Remember LS/MFT _____ ______ /_____ ____ _______.

17. Hey Kids! What time is it? It's _____ _____ ____!

18. Who knows what secrets lie in the hearts of men? Only The ______ Knows!

19. There was a song that came out in the 60's that was "a grave yard smash". It's name was the _______ ____!

20. Alka Seltzer used a "boy with a tablet on his head" as it's Logo/Representative. What was the boy's name was ______.

ANSWERS:

01. The Lone Ranger left behind... A silver bullet

02. The Ed Sullivan Show

03. On Route 66

04. To protect the innocent

05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight

06. The limbo

07. Chocolate

08. Louis Armstrong

09. The Timex Watch

10. Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.'

11. Draft Cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)

12. Beetle or Bug

13. Buddy Holly

14. Sputnik

15. Hoola-hoop

16. Lucky Strike/Means Fine Tobacco

17. Howdy Doody Time

18. Shadow

19. Monster Mash

20. Speedy



Send this to your 'older' friends, (Better known as Seniors.) It will drive them crazy! And keep them busy and let them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes.

Virus-free. www.avast.com

--
In Christ alone are we Saved
Earl Knopf
Pastor South Venice Christian Church
2390 Seaboard Ave
Venice Fl 34293

Romans 8 For Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[flightsimmer]

subject: Bird Magic




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--
In Christ alone are we Saved
Earl Knopf
Pastor South Venice Christian Church
2390 Seaboard Ave
Venice Fl 34293

Romans 8 For Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[flightsimmer]

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Earl Knopf <earleknopf@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 19, 2021 at 12:58 PM
Subject: Fwd: Fw: To my older friends - a trip down memory lane
To: Earl Knopf <deskofpastor@gmail.com>



---


Subject: To my older friends - a trip down memory lane

To my older friends and Children

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.
'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. !
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11.

It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 4. It was an old black Dodge.

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers -- my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the one s who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons Man, I am old.

Don't forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really OLD friends...

--
In Christ alone are we Saved
Earl Knopf
Pastor South Venice Christian Church
2390 Seaboard Ave
Venice Fl 34293

Romans 8 For Now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[kickbacked]

may want to edit your name/ address, or the whomever that is out of the post for your privacy.

 

[flightsimmer]

I left it on for credit where credit is due.

 

[flightsimmer]

Oh, I forgot to mention that you can add your own funny conversations and pictures.

 

[gregkl]

Very cool. Thanks.

 

[flightsimmer]

For your enjoyment, hopefully.
Well it didn't work, sorry.

 

[churchmouse]

For your enjoyment, hopefully.
Well it didn't work, sorry.

It worked just fine my friend. Just fine.

Thanks for the break from the madness.

 

[flightsimmer]

It worked just fine my friend. Just fine.

Thanks for the break from the madness.

You saw the video?

 

[churchmouse]

You saw the video?

I have to come back and finish the thread. There is a lot here.

 

[yepthatsme]

Thanks for all of the posts! I hate to admit it, but I only missed two of the questions in the quiz. Man I'm old.

 

[flightsimmer]

I've got a ton of light hearted cartoons and jokes but sadly I don't know how to post them.

 

[Snapdragon]

With the new format of the board, you can just copy/paste images now. Right click on your cartoon and click copy, then in the INGO text box right click and select paste.

 

[flightsimmer]

Yeah I tried that, all I get is "view image".

 

[Snapdragon]

Trying it with one of the pics you posted.

 

[Route 45]

Thanks for all of the posts! I hate to admit it, but I only missed two of the questions in the quiz. Man I'm old.

I missed 5. I'm just north of 50. Seems about right.