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  • DCR

    Sharpshooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Oct 6, 2009
    691
    63
    Young Hasidic Jewish couple in NYC, summer, living in a hot flat with no A/C. The wife decides she's going to take a shower to cool off and then rather than toweling off, she sits on the toilet seat to air dry. Being slippery, she jackknifes into the bowl. She yells for her husband. He pulls on an arm, then a leg, he shakes his head because she's stuck tight.

    "I'm going to call a plumber," he says.
    "Oh NO! I'll be so embarrassed.”
    He says, “just fold your arms across your chest.” He takes off his yarmulke and places it in her lap.

    The plumber comes. He looks one way and then another. He scratches his beard. He pulls on an arm, then a leg, shakes his head.

    The husband nervously asks, “can you get her out?”
    The plumber says, “Oh yeah, I can get the lady out OK…..but that rabbi is a goner.”
     

    SmileDocHill

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    61   0   0
    Mar 26, 2009
    6,159
    113
    Westfield
    They say time travel might be possible but it would be hard to survive without damage. What if flashers are time travelers trying to warn us about how out of hand gender reveal parties are going to get?
     

    DCR

    Sharpshooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Oct 6, 2009
    691
    63
    have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and
    thinking, surely i can't look that old.

    my name is Alice , and i was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.

    Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then?

    Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

    After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Abraham Lincoln high school ..

    'yes. yes, i did. i'm a mustang,' he gleamed with pride.
    when did you graduate?' i asked.
    he answered, 'in 1975. why do you ask?'
    you were in my class!', i exclaimed.
    he looked at me closely.

    then, that ugly,
    old,
    bald,
    wrinkled faced,
    fat-assed,
    gray-haired,
    decrepit,
    son-of-a-bitch

    asked,


    'what did you teach???
     

    actaeon277

    Grandmaster
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    4   0   0
    Nov 20, 2011
    92,863
    113
    Merrillville
    1680573736188.png

    Les Paul



    “I was always a prankster...And one time at WBBM, I decided I wanted to play a trick on everybody in the control room. So I caught a common house fly, went to one of the main microphones they used on the air, opened up the housing, put the fly inside, and closed it back up. Then I just sat back and watched them go crazy trying to figure out where the buzzing was coming from. The fly would buzz around inside the mic and then rest for a couple of seconds, and the engineers were going nuts trying to find the cause. Watching them trying to identify the problem just struck me as very funny, and they never did figure it out until I finally told them." -Les Paul In His Own Words
     
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