Do you hold grudges, or are you a forgive-and-forget person?

[foszoe]

LOL! Well, I don't carry grudges, but then again, I usually just don't care.

As I get older my list is taking care of itself. They are dropping like fly's and I was no where near. Karma is a serious lady.
What was maybe 10 is now at 2.

 

[Sigblaster]

I have Irish Alzheimer's. I forget everything but the grudges

According to 23 and Me, I'm 19.4% British and Irish. Maybe that's where I get it from.

 

[churchmouse]

According to 23 and Me, I'm 19.4% British and Irish. Maybe that's where I get it from.

My family is mostly british/irish with some German in the mix.

 

[Bennettjh]

Something I pray about a lot, but I’m very much a grudge holder, not proud of it, but not gonna lie either.

I'm right there with ya. I'm terrible about it but really try not to be. I get it from my Mom.

 

[OakRiver]

My family is mostly british/irish with some German in the mix.

Now there's a dangerous mix of thran-ness and stubbornness. In our household we split that, my wife is of German descent, so she gets the stubbornness. I'm Irish so I cover the thran-ness

 

[Sigblaster]

My family is mostly british/irish with some German in the mix.

I'm 61.1% French and German.

Also, 0.2% Ashkenazi Jewish. Apparently, conflict runs in my family.

I'm also 0.3% African. You can bet that if the government approves reparations, I'm applying.

 

[Sigblaster]

To get back on topic, most of my and my wife's family is . Except for our parents, they've all gotten on the bad list. Our parents are really good, but the rest are . It's weird. The thing is, even when you tell them about the crappy things they've done, they don't care. They dismiss you.

 

[Madmax]

I hold a grudge but also believe that what goes around comes around. You wait for someone's stupidity to work against them w/o a person wronged even becoming directly involved.

 

[printcraft]

Treat me like **** or screw me over... I’ll be civil but don’t call me to pull you out of the ditch you find yourself in, I’ll drive by and wave. Figuratively and literally.

 

[04FXSTS]

I don't sit around thinking about the people that have done an injustice to me or mine but I will never forget. Of course when karma does strike down on those on my list I do get a nice smile. I am like churchmouse in that my list is growing short, at 74 the years have taken down most people on my shortening list. I am also sure I am on some peoples list myself, don't care I plan to outlive them also. When you really think about things, anyone my age that does not have any enemies must have lived a boring and sheltered life. My life has been neither of these. Jim.

 

[dprimm]

I try hard to not hold grudges. Too much negative energy in my past - I fight hard enough daily to keep it out of my mind and my life. That said, there are some people that I wouldn't have pi$$ed on if they were on fire that I still don't care enough about to see if my view has changed.

There are a select few in my life that I really care about their opinion of me or my actions.

As I said, too much negative energy in my history that I fight daily to keep away. I don't encourage it.

 

[maxwelhse]

As I said, too much negative energy in my history that I fight daily to keep away. I don't encourage it.

Pretty much this. There are plenty of people who have earned themselves an exit from my life, but I try not to pick at those scabs too often. No point in it.

 

[Lost Californian]

...snip...

How about you? Grudge holder, or forgive-and-forgetter? Somewhere in the middle? Forgive but never forget?

I have never seen where holding a grudge is good for me. I have also never seen or heard where I was to forget all wrongs. I must forgive those who harm me, and not wish them wrong or seek payback. That is just good living.

Forgetting? Wouldn't that be the same as using your pinky toe to locate the edge of the dresser, and then forgetting what you just learned the next night? Being proactive to prevent hurt/loss is not the same as holding a grudge. YMMV.

 

[Expat]

I am generally a move on and get over it kind of guy. But depending on the incident, that might not be the case.
In the example given, if someone just lost a loved one, I would assume they did it out of the shock and grief rather than some personal slight toward me.

 

[patience0830]

It depends on the situation. Totally.

This.

 

[flatlander]

Mostly, I just cut them out of my life and move on. There are a few people that I have no choice but to be as pleasant as possible and walk away due them being bosses. I remember what they have done and try to always remember that they ARE out to get me. There is one person, who only left when I got EEOC involved. If he got hit by a dump truck I'd tip the driver.
Outside of work it's much easier as I'm not forced to be around anybody if I don't want to. Like Churchmouse, TIME seems to be taking care of most.

Bob

 

[EPeter213]

I have heard it said that to err is human, but to forgive is divine.

I am definitely not divine, but I do try.

 

[TangoFoxtrot]

It really depends on the situation.. good example is a issue im having with my neighbor, I will never forgive him or forget. When you mess with blood, all bets are off

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[NKBJ]

Try to forgive. But forget? You should learn by your mistakes.

 

[maxwelhse]

It really depends on the situation.. good example is a issue im having with my neighbor, I will never forgive him or forget. When you mess with blood, all bets are off

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I had issues with several of my previous neighbors and have gone out of my way to not know anything about my current neighbors. I'd actually prefer the Mayberry approach where everybody is besties, but it just isn't worth the risk or hassle. It only takes one neighbor that has a beef to completely ruin your life. I'll pass.